


Polar Opposites

by JessicaX



Category: Frozen (2013)
Genre: Alaska, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Aromantic, Asexual Character, Asexuality, F/F, Masturbation, Modern Era, NSFW
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-20
Updated: 2015-12-18
Packaged: 2018-04-16 08:15:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 22,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4618077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JessicaX/pseuds/JessicaX
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everybody's shocked when Anna Zielinski moves all the way to Alaska for university - especially a girl named Elsa, who wasn't expecting to meet anyone new this soon. But even though their personalities fit together so well, there's one area where they're not quite as compatible: sexuality. (Aro!Anna, Ace!Elsa, non-Icest, NSFW)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Derivative work of fiction, characters do not belong to me, I make no profit. NOT AT ALL safe for work, and includes a bit of -cough- risque behaviour. Elsanna, but not incestuous. You have been warned.
> 
> Yet another Frozen fic [based on a Tumblr ask](http://elsannafervor.tumblr.com/post/120511629527/what-if-anna-was-on-the-aromantic-spectrum-and)! Here, I shall transcribe:
> 
> _Anonymous asked: What if Anna was on the aromantic spectrum and thought she would never know what true love was? What if Elsa was on the [asexual] spectrum and had to conceal it?_
> 
> Jessica answered: AroAnna and AceElsa. What do you think, high school or college AU? Hmm… *flips imaginary coin* Let's say college, and JUST THIS ONCE it's non-Icest. I know, I don't normally do that, haha.

"It's bitterly cold up there."

That's what everyone told Anna Zielinski when she announced that she had taken the generous scholarship to study prelaw at Juneau University. Alaska was cold. Of course it was; that's the main thing everybody knows about it, aside from the Sarah Palin thing. It had been one of her reach schools, right after Harvard and Yale and the other Ivies. But none of the other universities had offered her a  _full ride_. Thus, Alaska won. She'd just pack warmly.

Secretly, she was hoping something else might warm up within her when she got there, in a new surrounding, without the preconceptions of her peers. An elusive creature that her best friend Jessie had found with that Lightyear jock their senior year. Maybe all her past "boyfriends", if you could call them that, were right, and she really was just a cold, emotionless fish. But how could she know for sure if she never tried?

As she discovered her first month there, she definitely didn't have any problem with sex. Of course, she already knew that from prom, but now there had been another boy or two. And a girl. And somebody who had given her such good head that she didn't even care what gender they were, if they had one at all. But besides friendship and useful warm appendages, she didn't feel any other connection to them - which frustrated them to no end, of course. Guilt for not feeling anything else was there, most definitely. That wasn't enough to change her heart.

In fact, she had almost entirely given up on anything else happening when the study date happened that changed everything.

Elsa Caulfield wasn't pre-law. She was actually going to uni for something in the humanities; history, or whatever. But they both had to squeak through the same calc course without failing abysmally, and when both she and Anna made equal sighs of utter frustration during one endless lecture, they caught each other's eyes and grinned. That led to the all-night study date for the midterm, fuelled by Red Bull and desperation, that had them making another kind of date.

Nothing with a romantic slant. Anna had given up on that, anyway, and even though she had slept with a woman she didn't consider herself anything besides straight. If she was anything at all. No, they were just going to get together after the midterm and watch a movie, help de-stress. Totally casual.

Or it was supposed to be.

"To be honest, I thought it was going to be way better."

"Me, too," Anna sighed as they pushed their way through the crowd into the campus coffee house. It had been a long film, and they desperately needed a recharge. "Did you see how cheesy the effects were?"

Pulling off her cap, she shook out her blonde bangs so that they fell delicately to either side of her head. "To call those 'effects' is stretching it, I think. I could have done better with Instagram."

"Two caramel macchiatos, please? One with soy milk." As she took out her wallet, Elsa tried to head her off again, and she grunted. "Dude…"

"No, I insist."

"But you paid for the movie! I'm not so poor I can't-"

"But you aren't rich, like my father is. So… let me do this." Grumbling under her breath, she handed over her card and added, "Not like there's much else he'll let me do."

Anna bid her time until their paper cups were warming their hands and they had taken the steps upstairs to the second floor. It had once been an apartment, but the owners of the coffee house had bought that and turned it into additional seating. Most people stayed downstairs, but they had both agreed that going up there was smarter if you wanted to hear yourself think.

"Mmm, that's better," Elsa sighed as she sank into the couch that faced a bay window. She didn't know if Anna would join her or sit across, but when the warm presence plopped down right next to her, she grinned self-consciously. "Hello."

"Sorry," Anna half-laughed. "Is… I mean, do you have a thing about personal space? It's just so empty up here, and I'm still cold, and-"

"Don't worry about it," she laughed in return as she nudged her arm gently. "I just… thought you'd take the window. Sunny spot."

"What do you mean?"

At that, Elsa blushed very slightly as she sipped again. "Just something I figured about you. Coming from Georgia, with all those freckles… I peg you as somebody who'd be outside all the time if you weren't living on a glacier."

"You peg correctly," Anna sighed. "Down there, I'd be outside in the grass until it got to below sixty. Then I'd finally give up and move inside when the cold started to bother me." Another sip of her own, and she leaned over against Elsa more heavily. "But you're warmer than any window seat."

"O-oh, really?" Her blush was only increasing from the proximity of her friend. "Well then, I'm glad to be of service. But you should have said something; I have two jackets on, I'd have let you borrow one."

"Yeah, but then you'd be freezing out there in the snow."

"Nah, it wouldn't bother me the way it does for you. Here." Without even waiting, she set her coffee down on the nearby table and began to shrug off her fur-lined parka.

"Um… you don't have to, and I have a thing about products that are the result of animal cruelt-" But the coat was already enveloping her, filling her with the light minty fragrance and residual warmth of Elsa.

"That's a native garment," she told Anna as she tugged the lapels forward. "Made of otter. No, I wouldn't have purchased it myself if I had any choice, but I can't put it back on the otters. Might as well use the thing as intended."

Anna found it hard to agree with that, though if anyone were to give one to her as a gift, she'd have told them to return it immediately. Still… it was quite warm, and she leaned forward to kiss Elsa on the cheek.

"Thanks."

Blushing, Elsa blinked down at Anna with shock. "I… what was that for?"

"For the coat. And for paying for coffee and a movie."

"But…" The befreckled nose was still an inch away from her own, and her cheeks were flaming by now. "But that's not- we only- more than enough just to say-"

"Elsa, you feel nice." Pressing right up against her chest, Anna smiled and said into her ear, "We could feel nice together."

"Did you slip some Jack into your coffee while I wasn't looking?"

Finally, the tiniest bit of chagrin crept into Anna's cheshire smile. "Nope. But if you wouldn't mind it, I'm open to a little off-the-books fun. Just let me know."

"Okay, I will, if needed."

At that, Anna really did frown. Then she drew back, squirming and clutching at the lapels herself. "Oh. I was- sorry, guess I wasn't picking up on the vibe I thought I was."

"No, don't apologise! It's how you feel, I didn't mean… I'm just not…"

"Not interested. Figures."

"That's not it, either… exactly." Swallowing, she shrugged as her eyes turned to look out the window. "Look. All I can say is that these kind of situations, they never quite work out for me. I just get all nervous, and then the other person expects more from me than I can deliver, and… and I…"

"Elsa, it's okay," Anna breathed, placing a hand on her forearm - but Elsa jerked away from that, too. "Look, I was never going to do anything without your permission! Please,  _please_ tell me you know that!"

"Of course! This isn't about what you were doing, or it being too far, or anything! I'm just n-not normal, and I can't do things normal people do!"

That stopped Anna cold. "What do you mean, 'not normal'?"

As if realising she had said too much, Elsa made to stand up, but Anna gripped her arm firmly and pulled her down into the seat. Other than the one hand, she made no move to get closer for fear Elsa would tear away from her in a more violent fashion than before.

"You can tell me," she assured her urgently. "Whatever it is, I swear, I'm not… I won't hurt you or anything, I promise. Super, super promise."

Elsa bit her lip for a moment, then shook her head vigorously. The woman simply wasn't ready. Then Anna hugged her tightly and pet her hair as she waited, quietly wondering what on earth was wrong with her friend.

"Sorry," Elsa whispered again as she finally hugged back. "It's something I can't explain very well, and maybe soon I can try. But it's…" A gulp, to delay herself. "I just can't right now."

Fighting back a wave of empathy that would have left her a gibbering idiot, Anna merely hugged Elsa back until she stopped shaking, and beyond that point until she was returning the hug with equal force and gratitude. One way or another, they were going to make it through this class together, regardless of what small hangup Elsa had. Or a least they would both fail with equal splendor.

_~ TO BE CONTINUED ~_


	2. Chapter 2

Months drifted by on snow-streaked winds with no developments. That isn't to say there weren't notable events, but Anna grew no closer to unravelling the complete mystery that was Elsa Caulfield, despite her best efforts. It wasn't for lack of trying; she asked innocent, no-pressure questions all the time. They simply yielded zero results.

The closest she came was the drunken night about a month before their final. Both full of Jägermeister and cheap beer, all their weeks of carefully avoiding doing anything that above friendship-level contact went out the window during the course of a single night of karaoke and Cards Against Humanity with a couple of their mutual friends - Nala and Roger, who were both from South Africa. Eventually, they went up to bed but Anna and Elsa stayed up to finish marathoning something on Netflix. And to chat, of course.

"There's no way those are real," Anna was still laughing.

"You don't know that," Elsa slurred as she scrolled through her Instagram feed on her phone. It was Anna's that was propped up for viewing the show. "Could be she just has been on hormones long enough that they developed naturally."

"Nope," Anna sighed easily as she put her hands behind her head. "No boy can grow boobs that big and stay that skinny."

Elsa's lips pursed. "Yes, but she  _isn't_  a boy. She's-"

"You know what I meant; she had a boy's body before. Obviously she's all woman now, and a hot one at that. I'm drunk, you  _so_  can't hold my words against me!" Giggling, Anna rolled over and poked Elsa's chest. "Anyway, hers aren't as big as yours. Have I told you lately how jealous I am of this rack?"

"Every day." When Anna kept poking, her lips pursed even more until she burst out, "Cut that out!"

"Don't wanna! Poke, poke, poke!" Elsa grasped at her wrists, but Anna evaded her the first time. The second time, they locked hands and ended up rolling over, knocking an empty glass from the table and ending in a mad tangle of limbs with Anna on top of Elsa.

"Get off, you sack of potatoes."

Anna's smirk was as challenging as it was scheming. "Make me." Elsa tried, rather valiantly and for a minute solid, but failed. "That's what you get when you go through high school without playing any sports."

"Shut up, you…  _boy."_

"Wow, that hurts! I'm a boy, huh? Even though I look this good?"

Rolling her eyes, Elsa tried to sit up again to no avail. "Yes! Only a boy would sit on me and act like he won something just because I can't buck him off!"

"Fine, then. You know what a boy would do in this situation, don't you?"

At first, Elsa only rolled her eyes. But then Anna moved in for the kiss so swiftly that she didn't have a chance to protest, or even process that it was coming. The sweet lips were pressing down into her own, rolling over the flesh and drawing one between both of hers, kneading at the skin as if trying to bake it into bread. The warm presence all over the front of her body was almost as good as the caress of hot breath on her neck, the feeling of soft red hair between her fingers. It was the best kiss of her entire life - which counted the girl she had finally got up the courage to kiss at her Senior Prom, shocking the entire student body in one fell swoop.

This was beyond experimentation. This was perfection.

Ironically, Elsa was the one on top when Anna made the move. It had been a pleasant enough five or ten minutes before the hand made its sneaky way into the waistband of Elsa's jeans. She pushed it away once, and Anna merely giggled and went for it again. When she used her nails to dig into her palm the second time, the kiss ended.

"OW! What the hell?!"

"You have to stop," Elsa told her in a voice that was not at all bemused. Just steely, cold. Final.

"I…" Anna didn't have any more words. She just looked up at Elsa as if she'd been slapped. To her, clearly everything had been going great until that moment.

"Does it have to lead there? I was… enjoying that. Before."

"So was I, seriously; I just thought we- if doing that was fun, maybe w-"

"No. That's not what I want."

It was mostly the alcohol to blame, but Anna's eyes turned dark. "Then what the hell do you want? Because from where I come from, making out as heavily as we were usually leads to what you rejected just now."

The words cut hard, and Elsa's face began to crumple. Before Anna could even speak, she rolled off her body and scrambled first for her phone, then tried to stand up.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"To my room," she snapped. "Where not so much will be  _expected_  of me."

"That's not- I mean, you don't think I would h-have-"

Shaking her head, Elsa reassured her, "No, I don't. But that doesn't mean you have the right to make me feel bad for… for wanting what I do, and not wanting what I don't."

"What are you saying? That you don't want me?"

"NO! God, you're such an idiot sometimes!"

"I'm an idiot?! Me, who just wanted what comes natural after-"

"Oh, it does not, you horny toad! Nevermind! Nevermind the whole fucking thing!"

And that was that. Out she charged, not even bothering to pull on her jacket. In fact, it got caught in the door and she had to open it to retrieve the sleeve… and that's when Anna saw the tears rolling down her face. Just for a second before she was gone again.

Maybe she was bad at reading people, and romance in general. But this was something else. This was something about Elsa. Why couldn't she figure it out? Why did she keep screwing up and making the friend she cared most about feel some kind of bizarre pain that she herself couldn't even fathom?

_~ TO BE CONTINUED ~_


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Slightly nsfw.

It took a week for Elsa to find her way back to Anna's dorm room and apologise. When Anna pressed for a more detailed explanation for her behaviour, she began to look so distressed that Anna backpedaled at lightspeed. It could wait; she just wanted her friend back. Kisses and more-than-kisses were secondary.

But over the next couple of weeks, she only became more confused. They went to the movies and Elsa wanted to hold her hand, was eager to do so. Bought her a parka of her own, one exactly like Elsa's except that it was made of faux-fur. Refused to ever let Anna pay for dinner. Told her how beautifully tempting her new lip gloss made what it was painted across.

These things made Anna more uncomfortable than she could admit, because they sent a clear message: they were dating. Anna didn't  _do_ dating, she didn't understand gestures like those. They felt nice because they made it clear that Elsa really cared about her, but it also confused her because she didn't know how to return them, or even show the proper amount of gratitude. Why couldn't they just play Halo and hang out like normal friends? Just because they would occasionally find their mouths intersecting didn't mean the rest of their relationship had to change.

Then there was also one other problem. Much though she cared about Elsa's feelings, she really needed to get laid. Taking care of herself was no longer quite enough after all those months since her last "mattress decathlon". And, of course, after Elsa's reaction the last time she tried to move past the kisses-and-cuddles stage, she didn't dare return to that topic again. Even hinting that she wanted to visit an adult store and pick up "something that makes noise, and makes  _me_ make noise" caused Elsa to turn beet red and begin stuttering, so Anna dropped that, as well.

Calc finals came and went, and they did as well as could be expected. The B-plus range was way better than Anna thought she'd land, so she took that and ran with it. The rest of their marks were much better, though they didn't share many of the same classes. Another week and Anna would be going home for the Winter holidays - to warm weather, a blessed change. Only a few more days and she'd have got off scot free.

"Hey," Elsa whispered into Anna's ear.

"Hmmhh?" she grumbled as she rolled over, blinking blearily up at the pale cheeks and blonde hair above her. "Whazzat?"

"Good morning." Pink lips pressed down into Anna's temple, and she hummed contentedly. Not that she wanted to admit it, because it was a little weird, but that felt more comforting than sexy. Her mother used to do it up until she was in kindergarten. "How'd you sleep?"

Struggling to roll over more properly, Anna grinned a sleepy grin and pulled Elsa down for a light kiss. Then she let her go and rubbed her face. "What time is it?"

"Five-thirty."

"Ohhh, Elsa," she groaned. "Whyyyy? You know I hate getting up early!"

"I know, but… this is your last day. I wanted to spend all of it with you."

Sighing, Anna looked up at her like she was wearing a pineapple for a hat. "You're kidding, right? I mean… we're going to talk on Facetime and shit. You won't even have time to miss me before three weeks will be over and done with."

"So? It won't be the same! And how dare you say I won't miss you - of course I will! Every day, you're going to b-"

"Okay, okay, whatever." But she couldn't really look too displeased. It was nice to have someone like Elsa that would genuinely care that she wasn't there. "Tell me what's on the itinerary."

"Well," Elsa began, obviously bursting to tell her everything. "First, breakfast at the Roc's Egg - I know you love their pancakes. Then we can go ice skating, if you feel like it; I know you're more about hockey, but if you don't mind  _not_ getting beaten up while we skate-"

"If you don't mind me asking, how long is this last day going to go? I mean, I'm flying out at four, and I still have to pack."

"No you don't."

"What?"

"You don't," Elsa repeated with a small smile. "I packed for you."

Anna merely stared at her for a minute, then sat up. The staring only continued afterward. "Dude… why would you do that? I don't even want to pack for myself, I can't imagine doing it for somebody else!"

"Don't worry," she sidestepped. "A complete outfit is already laid out for today, so you're not gonna have to go back into the luggage."

"But WHY?!"

"I couldn't sleep last night, okay? And besides, I thought this might make the last day more fun and less work for you."

"Stop saying 'last day' like I'm off to fight in a war!" Anna half-laughed. "I am coming back, I promise!" But Elsa looked so much like a pleading little puppy that she merely shook her head and sighed. "Fine, fine. What comes after the skating? Hang-gliding? Space-walking?"

Elsa pursed her lips, but it barely made a dent in her giant smile. "You'll see."

"OhhhHHhhh," Anna purred, sneaking a finger forward to thread through one of Elsa's beltloops. "It's  _that_ kind of surprise." As expected, Elsa went completely rigid, so she let go. "Or not. Do you want to help me get dressed, at least?"

"I would if I thought you wouldn't tackle me while you do," she grumbled. But Anna poked her in the stomach, and she snorted. "I'll let you wake up more and then we'll go, okay? I need to grab my boots, anyway."

Yawning, she kicked off the sheets and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. "Alright, see you in a few."

But Elsa didn't move. She had seemingly turned to stone, just because Anna got out of bed. What was the big deal? Then Anna followed her gaze to her own bare legs. And then upward to see it wasn't just her legs that were bare.

"Whoa, look at that; I lost my panties somewhere." A weak laugh did nothing to break the spell, so she waved her hand in front of Elsa's face. "Hellooo?"

"Hm? Oh - oh, sorry!" Elsa cried, turning away. But her cheeks were not nearly as pink as Anna would have expected them to be, having seen what she just saw. "You were- I didn't m-mean to stare!"

"Hey, stare all you want," Anna teased, but kept up talking. She already knew the teasing would make Elsa more uncomfortable if she lingered upon it. "Sorry, I just had to, uh, let off some steam before I went to sleep last night, and I guess I forgot to put them back on. I'd have warned you if I remembered I was bottomless."

Elsa nodded very slowly. "Okay. That's… that's fine."

She was still staring. At first, Anna had merely been embarrassed beyond belief, and remorseful that she had put her friend through this. It was clear Elsa was uncomfortable with anything sexual - at least, so far as it involved her. However, now she was just staring at her nude lap. Sure, nothing but skin and a small strip of coppery hair was visible from that vantage point. Sure, they were both girls, so it didn't  _have_ to mean anything. Not the way it would if one of them was a guy.

However, the longer this went on, the less either of them seemed to be able to say something that would make the situation improve. And, however gradually, the more turned on Anna began to feel by having her friend's eyes upon her that way.

"Elsa," Anna finally breathed.

"Huh?" That was it. Nothing more coherent, and no movement of her head or eyes.

"Elsa, do you… want to see more?" That question sounded so ridiculous, so flat. But if she tried to ask it another way, in a flippant or off-colour fashion full of winks and nudges, it would send the message that she wasn't serious. That she didn't take Elsa's well-being seriously.

The answer, after a few more seconds, was "No." But Elsa didn't stop staring. Couldn't. Finally, feeling thoroughly confused, Anna pulled the blanket back over her lap, just to see what happened - and it was like a spell being broken. "Sorry," Elsa sighed, running a hand over her face. "I spaced. What were we talking about?"

"That's… are you kidding me?" When Elsa merely furrowed her eyebrows, Anna spluttered for a second before she was able to articulate her frustration. "You're gonna pretend that didn't just happen? That you didn't… whatever, glare a hole through my vajayjay?"

"I didn't see your-"

"You were staring right at it, even if it wasn't in the open! I don't get you sometimes, what… I mean, were you expecting me to have a dick or something?"

"NO!" Elsa burst out immediately! "I mean, you never said you had one, so why on Earth would I expect  _that?!"_

"Well, I don't know, okay?! All I know is, you just spent a few minutes locked in a staring contest with my pubes, and now you're trying to act like it never happened!"

Finally, Elsa's shoulders slumped and she buried her face in her hands. "I know, I know, I just… that's not what I was expecting to see today. It caught me off guard. I promise I wasn't thinking anything weird, okay? This is just the first time I've ever seen… someone undressed. Besides myself, or my mother when I was tiny. You know what I mean."

"That's fine," Anna sighed in frustration. "And it would have been okay if you were thinking something 'weird'. I swear it would have."

"Well, I wasn't."

"Why not?" Scooting forward, but making sure the blanket was still firmly in place, she asked, "Why don't you see me that way? Am I… is it the 'two girls' thing? Because other than this, you sure as hell seem to be comfortable holding hands and making out in public."

"Those aren't the same thing," Elsa protested. "Just because I want to be with you and for the world to know we're together doesn't mean that I want- that I'm r-ready for- it's… they are two different topics, okay?"

"Yeah, but I don't understand, and you won't talk about the topics! I just… I'm really frustrated! And I mean that in every sense!" To punctuate this point, she shook the sheets hiding her half-nakedness.

"You mean you didn't take out your 'frustrations' last night while you were making your underwear disappear?"

Anna decided she had had enough of pussy-footing around - even though she had been asking questions here and there. "No, I didn't. I just hit the 'snooze' button on my body. And now the alarm is ringing again." Swallowing hard, she tried to catch Elsa's eyes, but couldn't. "I want you, okay? Really, really bad. You made me come right out and say it, and now I feel stupid because apparently, you don't want me. But that's fine, I guess. I'll just keep doing what I did last night, and feeling stupid."

"But that isn't… it's more complicated than that."

"Why?! Why are you complicating something that's not-"

"Because I am NOT YOU, Zielinski!" Elsa burst out angrily, standing and shouting down at Anna. Then, when Anna shrank back from the outburst, bewildered, she pinched the bridge of her nose. "This… is a hard conversation, and I'm too hungry to keep doing it. Can we please just go to breakfast?"

Standing up, Anna reached for Elsa, but she heard a squeak of fright and watched her turn around. That quickly, she had already forgotten she was bottomless, so she looked around until she found the clothes that had been laid out and snatched the pair of boyshorts from on top. "Listen," she grunted as she struggled into them. "I can't lie, I'm super worried and I don't know if I can even eat right now, but if that's what you want, that's what we'll do, okay?"

"Good. I'll go let you get dressed. I… need a minute, to be honest. Knock on my door when you're ready?"

Then she was gone, leaving Anna alone with her whirlwind of thoughts and wondering where the previous night's panties really were, anyway. As she would find out three weeks later, they had somehow ended up inside her pillowcase.

_~ TO BE CONTINUED ~_


	4. Chapter 4

"I'm sorry."

Shaking her head, Elsa Caulfield merely sawed more vigorously at her mountain of pancakes. They were six deep and laden with syrups of varying flavours. Anna's, however, had bananas all over them, and cooked into them - plus a banana syrup. "Bananaception" was what they normally called it. On happier days.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. You merely expressed what is allegedly a very normal interest in… in that kind of thing. I just wish you'd learn to take 'no' for an answer."

"You can't even say 'sex'," Anna observed - and saw Elsa twitch. "God, does it really bother you that much?"

"It does. I mean, obviously you picked up on it, but I haven't… taken the time to sit down and talk about it. That's my fault, I guess." Sighing, she set down her knife. "And I'm never going to get these cut up."

"We'll ask the waiter to bring an electric knife. Now, tell me. Don't let my reactions or the pancakes or anything sideline you, just… go for the goal, all at once."

Nodding, Elsa took a sip of her coffee. It warmed her stomach and spread to her limbs, helping to abate the tiniest bit of her tension. Not enough, but enough to help.

"I'm on the asexuality spectrum, Anna. I've known it for a long time, ever since sophomore year of high school. All my friends had already tried masturbating, or even more than that, and I just… didn't care. Never felt those urges. It was so worrying; I thought something was wrong with me, that I was broken inside. Wrong. It seemed wrong that I didn't share those feelings all my classmates were having."

Though Anna was listening, she didn't seem to be processing everything. "Wait, so… you've never had sex, I get that. It happens at different times for different people. But how can you know you don't even want to? That's not even a thing in my mind."

"Just don't."

"But… you and I, we've kissed so many times! I figured you were just shy, and if enough time went by-"

"What, that I would put out for you?"

"NO!" Squirming, she leaned in slightly and said in a lower voice, "Well, yeah, but obviously that's not the only thing I want from you! I just like your body, and I want to explore all of it. And let you explore mine. Like, as a separate thing from us being friends."

Again, Elsa was doing that blush that looked less flattered and more alarmed. "Please don't say things like that to me, okay? It… doesn't give me the feeling that you want it to. It just hurts, since I can't be that for you."

"Oh. So not at all. I'm…" And then it seemed to crash down on her. Firstly, that she had been throwing unwanted advances in Elsa's direction. Secondly, that she and her were never going to enjoy that particular pleasure with each other. It was a one-two punch that she hadn't been prepared for.

"Anna?" Another few seconds passed as her breathing grew more shallow, as she stared off into the distance. Elsa scooted forward and put her hand on top of her friend's. "Earth to Anna?"

"No," Anna sniffled as she jerked her hand away. It felt too nice. She couldn't think those thoughts about Elsa anymore, they were forbidden. "No, I've been hurting you, I- you have to get away from me."

"Don't be stupid," Elsa sighed weakly. "It's not that drastic; I know you'd never force yourself on me or anything. All I'm asking is you tone down the, um… advances."

"But that's all I know! If we're not literally friends-and-nothing-else, the only way I can show you how much I care about you is with my fingers and lips - and I want to so bad it burns! The way you make me feel loved with all those little gestures? I can't do that, it's not me, I can barely understand it from your direction, and… and I need you to know that I care about you, so what do I do, huh? What the  _fuck_ am I supposed to  _do?!"_

Seeing how upset Anna was really threw Elsa. It had been abysmally obvious how much Anna wanted to "further their relationship", but she'd never thought of it as important to her before. Not truly important. Not something that made her feel this much worse about herself if she went without.

"Anna… if you really n-"

"Stop right there," Anna snapped. "I never,  _ever_ want you to go down that road. If it's hurting you, then it's hurting you, and it would literally make me sick if you did that to yourself for me and me only."

It was a relief, and it also made her feel so loved she thought she might burst. "Thank you. Really, I mean it - you have no idea how much I needed to hear that! Even though it's going to make things harder for us, I… I couldn't stand it if I lost you the way I lost her."

"Her?" Still breathing hard, the redhead forced herself to stop and take a sip of her own coffee. "So, um, your ex wanted you to do it, and you told her no, and that didn't go well, huh?"

"Pretty much."

"That's harsh," Anna admitted. "I mean, I symapthise with her a little, but God… she didn't even care that it was upsetting you?"

"Oh, she did, but in the end she thought I needed to just suck it up and try it. And I refused, and she left me. Simple as that."

Leaning forward, Anna took Elsa's hand. "That's not gonna happen with me. We're friends forever, right? Like, until one of us dies of old age. I don't care about the rest as long as that doesn't change."

Nodding, Elsa brought Anna's hand up to her lips and kissed it. It made Anna squirm slightly, but she did smile in the end. That set her to thinking, to turning over all of their interactions. There were things about them that had clued her in very slightly along the way, and she had been subconsciously gathering them all together to draw a final conclusion someday. It seemed that day was now.

"Anna… have you ever considered that you might be aromantic?"

"Elsa," she sighed, "I know I suck at showing you how I feel, but you don't have to rub it in."

"No, I'm serious. You told me about your last few attempts at relationships, how they kind of fell apart and they called you 'cold'. And then there's how you are with me."

Clearly, Anna was almost afraid to ask. "How am I with you? If you don't mind me asking."

"Well, other than trying to have sex with me, you treat me more like a best friend than a girlfriend. We hang out, play Halo and Mortal Kombat, watch movies… and when I do anything special, you look at me like I'm trying to show you up instead of just trying to show you I care. At first, that used to piss me off because I thought you were rejecting me, but I finally began to pick up on the truth as we went along."

"The 'truth' that I'm incapable of romance? Do you really believe that?" When Elsa didn't answer, she sat up straighter, both hands clamped down on the edge of the table. "Hey, I can do it! I'll show you real romance! You just wait until I get back from break - I am gonna show you so much romance you'll be up to your eyeballs in it!"

"Did any of what you just said sound romantic at all?"

A little at a time, Anna deflated until she was slumped down, eye-level with the mouth of her coffee mug. "Well… maybe… not so much."

"Yeah." Elsa smiled slightly. "I love hearing it, because I know now that it's how you are, how you express love. But it's not 'romance' in the traditional sense. Or even in the non-traditional sense. It's Anna-only romo."

"So you really think I'm… what, messed up?"

"It's not like that. Being aromantic doesn't mean there's sommething 'wrong' with you, just that your interpersonal relationships don't have that… extra thing that is 'romance'. It's a difference, but it's a good difference. To me, anyway."

Slumping forward even more, chin resting on the plate in front of her pancakes, she groaned a long, mournful note before speaking again. "It's not good. You don't want sex, and the only way I can really show you how much I care is - you guessed it - with sex. So we're screwed."

"I'd rather not be, actually."

 _"Fuuunnyyyyy,"_  Anna sneered. But she started to smile afterward, as did Elsa. "You're a dork."

"I'm your dork, though."

"SEE?! See right there? How do you come up with cute stuff like that to say all the time?!"

"Who knows? Maybe I'm magic?" However, by then Anna was flicking a banana slice at her head, and she was doing her damndest to simply get the hell out of the way.

_~ TO BE CONTINUED ~_


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chap was fun to write in its own way, because there's no Elsa. Also, because it features Anna being shown outside of her budding relationship, merely chatting with her cousin about it. Call me a sucker for humourous fluff.

Two weeks dragged on agonisingly slow in the Zielinski household. Anna was going out of her mind being apart from Elsa, even though they Skyped all the time. Jessie was still there for her to hang out with, but it wasn't the same as before they both went away to college. They had a lot to catch up on, it was true, but less to talk about overall. Still, it was great to visit all the old haunts, like the video store - even though they had relocated across the street into a smaller storefront, since most people just used Netflix or Redbox these days.

Of course, her parents were quite irritating. Even though she was enjoying hanging out with them, her mother continued to harp on about her not finding a boyfriend; she had always been oddly intent about having grandchildren. Her dad, on the other hand, didn't care who she dated and seemed to prefer she not date at all until after graduation. Her aunt, uncle, and cousin Rapunzel came by for Midnight Mass and Christmas dinner, and that helped take the edge off - even if Punzie had an annoying habit of borrowing her hair products without asking.

It was a few days after Christmas. The two cousins were in Anna's room messing around; Anna was hanging upside down on her bed and Punzie was going through her suitcase - which she wished she wouldn't.

"So they don't all wear parkas?"

"Not really, Punz. And we do have summer up there, you know - it gets up to 80 sometimes."

Laughing, she held up a shirt and wandered over to the full-length mirror on her closet door, checking how it might look on her. "That seems hard to believe. I mean, everything we see from the news up there is covered in snow, right?"

"Yeah, yeah," Anna sighed, trying to pry loose one of the pushpins holding a Ke$ha poster in place with her big toe. She didn't really want to pull it out, but she was bored enough to try. "That's more north than where we are. I mean, we do get a lot of snow, but more like Chicago snow, right?"

"I guess." The blonde skipped back to the suitcase and grabbed two other shirts, dropping the first unceremoniously next to the suitcase. It took a lot of willpower for Anna not to yell at her. "But man, I can't wait for when I graduate next year! My life can finally begin - I'll go to college and study the arts, meet cute boys, maybe get a summer job before that!"

"Right, so much fun - working and working."

"Boys are 'working'?" When Anna didn't answer, she merely smirked and switched from one shirt to the other. The second was a lurid pink, one that Anna would rather forget about than wear again; in fact, she was planning to leave it behind in her closet before heading back to campus. "Hey, do you mind if I borrow this when we go out tomorrow?"

"Yes, I mind! You always mess up my clothes and then you don't replace them or anything!"

Pouting, Punzie turned back to look at her. "Oh come on, that was one time with ice cream, and we were like, ten! You can't hold that against me forever!"

"Watch me!"

"Please?"

A few seconds passed with Anna staring at her upside-down face in all its desperate splendour. Then she sighed and nodded, and Punzie giggled in delight and hung it on the doorknob.

"You're lucky you're my favourite cousin," she sighed in a put-upon voice. "You get all the perks my other cousins don't get."

"I'm your only first cousin, dork. Hey, a swimsuit!"

Why on earth had she even packed a swimsuit for college? Most pools in Alaska were indoors anyway, and she was more of a beach girl. "Yeah, great. I'm probably not gonna go swimming in 30-degree water anytime soon."

"Hey, there's something… dude, who's this?"

From her vantage point, she could barely tell Rapunzel had discovered a handful of small white cards. Relenting, Anna rolled over and saw much the same thing, except for the slightly surprised and confused look on her cousin's face. "What?"

"Well, I'm not sure, but I think this is some kind of ancient-technology version of sending Snapchat nudes."

"WHAT?!" The second "what" was much sharper, and left no room for argument. Hearing this, Rapunzel immediately crossed the room and held them out for Anna to see as she struggled to get up and sit cross-legged on the edge of her bed, reaching for the mysterious cards.

It was Elsa.

Immediately, she felt her heart completely stop for a few seconds. The pictures - Polaroids, ancient technology indeed - were of Elsa, and they most certainly were not for all audiences. As far as she could tell, they were still in order, since the first one was simply her standing there in a red lace teddy, smiling serenely. Always the picture of calm, a steadfast friend.

Then she turned to grant a view from the back, hands taking her hair out of its ever-present braid. And then she bent forward to blow a kiss into the camera, one strap sliding down her shoulder. Then…

All Anna glimpsed was something that MIGHT have been a nipple before she slapped the other pictures back on top of it and clutched them to her chest.

"Dude, are you… kinda gay?"

She had completely forgotten Rapunzel was there. "Huh? I m-mean, I have no idea how these got there, I…" But she did know. Elsa had packed her suitcase. These had clearly been planted for her to find later rather than sooner. In fact, Elsa had asked her a few days previously if she was doing much swimming back in Georgia. "Wow."

Squirming, the long-haired girl backed off a few steps, her overlarge green eyes quite obviously uncertain. "Um, do you need me to like, sleep on the couch or something? We don't have to room together anymore if it's gonna make you feel weird."

"Relax," Anna managed to make herself say. "You're not in any 'danger', I don't bang clothes-hoarding cousins."

"Okay, okay," Rapunzel managed to laugh, only a little nervously. "That's a relief! I mean, maybe it shouldn't be, but I've never had a gay friend before. You know I don't get out much, with homeschooling and all."

"Yeah, I know. It's okay. And, well, I'm not really 'gay', I'm just equal-opportunity. If it knows superhero movies and it's attractive, I'm down."

"So like, bisexual, or whatever? Cool, that's cool." After a moment of indecision, she forced herself to sit on the bed next to Anna, crossing her legs and scooting a tiny bit closer. "And you never did say who that is. Are you two-"

"It's really complicated." When she shrank back in alarm, Anna sighed and deflated. "Sorry, I'm not trying to be mean or rude. But there's been this whole thing going on lately."

"Seems like a pretty good thing, from the look of those," she snorted, flicking one fingernail against the corner of the Polaroids.

Biting her lip for a moment, Anna stared down at the top picture. The look on Elsa's face wasn't exactly seductive - it was just full of affection. Soft and attractive, but not attracted to anything besides Anna's personality. She'd been thinking a lot about that, and even though the feelings confused her, she did know that she returned them, in part.

"She's… different than anybody else I've ever had feelings for," Anna admitted. "But I think we covered this last summer."

"Yeah, your 'no romo' feels. Not everybody's into that, I guess. But you said you had been hooking up with somebody, right?"

"That's just it; I'm fine with hooking up, that makes sense to me. Sometimes friends can sample the benefits. But with Elsa…" It was going to be tricky to get into this without revealing Elsa's policy on sex. "She wants me to be a girlfriend. And I'm bad at that, but I want it, too, because I care about her so much. I'm just terrible at processing those feelings or knowing how to show them; I can treat her like a best friend, and I can show her I want to drag her into bed with me, but that stuff that's supposed to go in the middle is just hard, okay?"

Rapunzel looked bewildered, but she wasn't running away, wasn't saying "EW" or spouting anything about what the church would think. That was a plus. "So… wow, you're SO gay."

"Thanks."

"I don't mean it in a bad way, just that you're way into this girl. And she's cute! I mean, I can tell a girl's cute without wanting to 'gay' her myself, right?"

"Homo is not contagious," Anna snorted quietly. That made Rapunzel smile in spite of herself. "But yeah, I'm serious about her, I guess. She's my best friend."

"I thought Jessie was your best friend. Hey, did you and her ever-"

"NO."

"Just checking!" After they fell silent for a few minutes, she piped up, "Oh! Why don't you send her some sexy pics back? That'd be like, the same gesture, right? Show her you care just as much as she does." Leaning in, she waggled her eyebrows. "I'm up for a trip into Victoria's Secret if you are."

That made Anna squirm. After a second, she glanced down at them again, smiling quietly to herself. It mystified her that Elsa would even go to these lengths for her, given how she generally felt about sex. It had to have been one of the most difficult things she ever had to do - and she did it for her. "Wouldn't mean the same thing."

"What?"

"She's kind of… meeting me halfway. Let's just say I'm way thirstier than she is, and she knows it's been a while since I got any action." Looking up at Rapunzel, she suddenly blurted, "Help me out with this, okay?"

The blood drained from her cousin's face. "Look, um, y-you know I totally have your back, Anna, but there are just some lines that shouldn't be-"

"Not with THAT! I mean, help me think of something mushy to do! Like, at least partially mushy!"

"Ohhh," she sighed in extreme relief. "Well, I dunno, there's plenty of things. What did you have in mind?"

"If I knew that part, I wouldn't be asking you!"

"Okay, okay! Geez, give me a half-second to think, will you?!" Sinking her face down into her hand, she ran through a few possibilities in her mind. "Okay, what about getting her perfume? Is she that kind of girl?"

"Maybe, I don't know. She does smell nice, but me smelling her usually just leads straight to 'I wanna jump her now' in my brain. I never focused on which perfumes she likes."

"Alright, alright, we got this. How about tomorrow we just spend a few hours in the mall and see what we come up with?" When Anna only looked back down at the Polaroids with something like depression, Punzie squeezed her shoulder. "Dude, you really do have it bad."

"Yeah. Like I said, she's my best friend. Knowing she wants to make me this happy, even if it's in ways that make her uncomfortable? I have to do something about it."

"We will. Promise-promise." Then Rapunzel cleared her throat, obviously stiffening. "Now, um… do I need to go to the bathroom and take my sweet time in there so you can be alone with the photoshoot?"

Snorting, Anna shoved her hand off her shoulder. "Don't be dumb." But she didn't stop staring at Elsa, turning the snap on top ever so slightly. Appreciating every angle. "That would… be really silly… silly, silly Punzie."

"Would you rather be the one who goes to the bathroom?" she guessed.

"Yeah, let's do that."

_~ TO BE CONTINUED ~_


	6. Chapter 6

Elsa kept looking over at Anna every few minutes as they drove back from the airport. She was quiet, but it was an excited quiet rather than a sad or nervous one. Like she was bursting to say so many things but didn't want to seem silly or excited.

However, most of what was on Anna's face was redness. Elsa wondered if it was a sunburn or a blush, but either way, she was definitely not her usual hue of "slightly more tan than white". She had a sneaking suspicion that, if indeed it were a blush, the origin was the small handful of Polaroids she had slipped into her bag. It didn't have to be why, but some part of her would be quite gratified if it was.

"So… how was the flight?"

"Not that bad," Anna sighed, biting her lip and staring out the window.

"Really? No annoying people sat next to you, nothing strange in the airport?"

"Nope." After another second, she shrugged and went on, "Well, there was this one thing."

"Yeah?"

"Um… I think I got hit on by one of the flight attendants." When Elsa didn't react, she went on, "Like, I know they're supposed to be nice to you and everything, and they all were nice. But this one Asian woman kept winking at me every time she brought me something, or asked a question - and then she told me her name was 'Mulan' and asked if I wanted to meet her in the 'sky lounge' or something, since she had a break after her flight and I had a layover. Like, how did she know?"

That made Elsa's chest squeeze hard, but she didn't know how to put into words what she felt. Also, it wasn't fair of her to put her own jealousy - if that's what it was - onto her friend. "Oh. I m-mean, how did she know what?"

"How did she know I'm bi, or pan, or whatever I am!? Like, was I broadcasting it to the world and I'm just blissfully ignorant of the vibes I'm putting out?"

"Maybe you are. Or maybe you're just so freaking beautiful that she figured it was worth finding out." When Anna blinked over at her, she instantly refocused on the road. "So, um, did you meet her at the lounge?"

At this point, Anna seemed to want to clam up again, but after a few breaths, she answered, "Thought about it. But I honestly had to pee, and I lost sight of her, and… it seemed a lot more serious if I went through the trouble of asking directions to the lounge, so instead I just found a seat and waited for my next flight."

"Oh. I see."

"It's… she seemed cool and everything, but I didn't feel a connection to her, anyway. Except that maybe it would have been fun to… nevermind."

"What? Been fun to what?"

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

Smiling weakly, Elsa glanced over at Anna briefly. "You can say you wanted to sleep with her, I'm not going to lose it over something like that."

"Okay, then. Yeah, she was really hot. I wanted to do that."

"Okay."

Anna turned more fully in her seat, sneakers squeaking against the plastic floormat. "That doesn't bother you? That I want to bang other people? I mean, you're the one who looks at this as more of a… whatever, compared to me. I just don't want to hurt you by talking about stuff like that."

"Honestly, Anna, it's none of my concern. I'm not having sex with you - obviously, since I don't wish to do that. So if you did want to sleep with another woman, or a man, or a non-binary person, that's entirely up to you."

"You mean that?" Anna asked incredulously. "Because even though I'm not into lovey-dovey stuff, I at least know that people get jealous and pissed when their girlfriend cheats on them. And I wouldn't want to hurt you that way - never, ever!"

"Hey, how is it cheating if I'm telling you I don't mind?" When Anna just continued to stare at her, she pulled over onto the side of the road, in front of an antique shop. Anna only expressed mild surprise that Elsa wasn't still driving. "Listen. It would be really insensitive of me to prevent you from having sex. I can't give that to you - or I could, and would if you were okay with knowing I'm not enjoying it. But you said you won't ask that of me, which is appreciated. In light of that, the least I can do is give you one hundred per cent freedom to sleep with whoever you want to sleep with."

The freckled, possibly-sunburnt redhead chewed on that for a moment or two - literally chewing on her thumbnail while she did so. Then she looked up questioningly and whispered, "Are… you sure?"

"Yes. I've had a while to think about this now, and that seems the only reasonable course of action."

"You don't care if I go make out with some guy, and let him bang me senseless? And then I still come home to you like nothing happened?"

"Not exactly." Taking a deep breath, she looked down at her hands. "It's… not going to be completely easy for me to put my feelings aside for this. But that doesn't mean I want you to turn into a nun for my sake." Her anxiety clearly began to climb the more she talked. "You like sex. I know you've been getting hornier, that you've wanted to do something with someone. I know that night we played Scrabble, you, um…"

Suddenly, Anna was turning away, burying her face in her hands. "I th-thought you couldn't hear me in there - GOD, Elsa, I'm so sorry!"

"Don't be sorry!" Elsa protested. "It's very natural, I know it is - I'm the unnatural one for not wanting or enjoying such things!"

"It's just that you looked so good all day, and I gave you that massage, and your shoulders looked so good and your hair smelled  _great,_  and by the time I excused myself I was practically climbing the walls with-"

 _"Yes,_  I understand, I already said that!"

Biting her lip, Anna turned back to look at her again. "I'm sorry! God, what's the point, anyway? Why do you want to be with me if I'm just going to make you uncomfortable by wanting to bang you all the time?"

"That's the exact point, Anna." Reaching in, she caressed her cheek tenderly. "Because you care whether or not I want to have sex, or am made uncomfortable. You don't want me to force myself to be 'normal' for your sake, even though it's driving you crazy going without. Most people wouldn't be as understanding as you are. So I have to make those concessions where I can, and this is what I can do."

The car was silent for a minute or so. Elsa continued to pet Anna to calm her, and Anna just breathed deeply, both sides of the conflict warring in her mind doing significant damage to her stability.

"Is… that what the pictures were? A concession?"

"They were." Her voice got a lot quieter. "Do… you like them?"

"Like them?  _Like_ them?! I want to marry them!"

Chuckling self-consciously, Elsa said, "That sounds favourable enough. I was worried they wouldn't be any good, since I can't judge for myself what's sexy and what isn't. I just… found some Buzzfeed list and looked through it, tried to copy their process."

That made Anna laugh, too. "Out of all the places you could go to get my motor revving, you went to Buzzfeed?" After they both giggled for a minute, Anna sighed and hugged Elsa hard. "You did great. Don't doubt yourself so much."

"Thanks," Elsa whispered. "Glad I could help. Did I? Help?"

"Ohhhhh  _yeah."_  Elsa tensed up, so she followed that with, "They, um, were adequate and did the job required."

"Are you implying I'm a robot?"

Leaning back, Anna began to dance a little bit, singing, "I'm just a looove machine, and I don't, work, for nobody but you!"

"You sure are," Elsa snorted with one hand covering her mouth. "The Scrabble game isn't the only time I figured out you were 'blowing off steam', and I'm not even talking about that last morning before vacation."

"What? No, I- come on, I don't do it  _that_ often."

"What about the pool locker room?"

"…okay, but I admitted that to you."

"And the back of my car?" No answer. "You know, the time we went to the mall and got tacos."

 _"Hey,_  that wasn't- I didn't finish, I just needed to…" Pouting, she crossed her arms over her chest. The redness in her cheeks definitely was not  _all_ sunburn. "Sometimes, a woman has needs, okay?"

"Yes, but did you have to do it while Taylor Swift was on the radio? I can never hear 'Style' the same way again!"

"Her high notes drowned out my noises! I'd like to see  _you_ sneak one in this dinky car!"

"I just bet you would." Elsa's coy little smile was as infuriatingly serene as it was flawlessly beautiful. Anna tried to take exception, but in the end it was impossible.

"…yeah."

_~To Be Continued~_


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, thank you, Elsannaheadcanon. I know I'm a slow ass. :P

"Eat laser!"

Late that same evening, Elsa and Anna were knee-deep in Super Smash Bros. Nothing of consequence had happened between when Anna landed and then, other than food and conversation. Even so, Anna still felt far more contented than she had the entire time she was back in Georgia. This was what she had been missing the most.

"Maybe I don't wanna eat laser!" Anna crowed, leaning in slightly toward the flatscreen. "Maybe YOU need a faceful of my FAN!"

Laughing, Elsa kicked Anna's shin as she concentrated on her controls. "Can't believe you're doing this well with the stupid fan!"

"That's what it's like to have real skills, Caulfield," Anna mocked gently, laughing as she took a swig of Powerade. "But I have to admit, I've never seen anybody use Sheik as well as you."

"Well, she fascinates me. The dual gender roles of Zelda and Sheik, her completely different fighting styles depending on her outward guise… she might be bigender, or at least genderfluid."

Rolling her eyes, Anna tossed the Wiimote onto the floor and flopped back against the edge of Elsa's bed. "Oh, here we go again. Everything's gotta have a label."

"You really don't see how I mean?"

"You really can't just leave it at 'sometimes the princess likes to dress in drag' and leave it at that?"

Pursing her lips, Elsa spun to sit more directly facing Anna now. Her face was only half-serious, but it wasn't entirely joking anymore. "Come on, you don't honestly believe that's the only option here, do you? Even outside a deeper, more magical sense, she might have two sides to herself that genuinely need expression on a regular basis. Magically, she might really be two souls trapped in one body. If you take another example-"

"Okay, okay, I give," Anna laughed, shoving her shoulder lightly. "Can't we turn off our college brains until classes actually start up again?"

"No!" Elsa retorted, shoving her back. Anna planted her hand on Elsa's face and shoved it backward, but Elsa raised both arms and tugged her down on top of her, trying to do the one thing Anna seemed to be unable to stand: shove her finger in her nose. For a few seconds they rolled around with Anna trying to prevent such a horrible fate and Elsa crowing for her to "SUBMIT!" Then they were laughing breathlessly, Anna on top of her.

But immediately afterward, Anna slid to one side, an arm and a leg still thrown over her friend's body. That made Elsa's eyebrows draw together, but she remained smiling.

"Sorry," Anna breathed.

"Sorry what?"

"For… you know. That position."

"I didn't even think anything about it," Elsa told her steadily. "Because I trust you."

Anna merely blinked over at her for a moment, utterly amazed. She took her breath away with her unwavering trust. It was then she allowed herself to do something she'd been holding back on from the moment she touched down.

Sidling over, her lips pressed softly into Elsa's, and she felt the gesture being returned so she continued, sliding her hand up and down Elsa's stomach. Normally, she'd be sliding it further up or further down, but that would not be happening - and Elsa had already told her she didn't mind her stomach being touched. It wasn't only in a sexual way that she enjoyed Elsa's body; it was merely the warmth of it, the realness of her being next to her and willing to engage with her in that way.

But even so, Anna began to get restless. The only way it was expressed was by her hips moving back and forth a little under the dainty hand just barely resting upon the nearest one, and her breath quickening even more than Elsa's. Still, it was unmistakable.

"Do you," Elsa panted as she pulled away, "need a moment alone?"

"No!" Anna reassured her, grinning bashfully. "Seriously, I… got this, I'm cool."

Reaching up to pet her flushed cheek, the winded blonde pressed her friend for another answer. "Are you sure you don't at least WANT a moment?"

"That's a different story. You're really… beautiful, of course. Kissing you feels great."

"Don't you mean that I'm really sexy?" When Anna didn't answer, she wrapped her arms around her and began to pet along her back. "Maybe you don't think I notice how often you look at my chest. At my legs. At my-"

"No harm in looking," Anna grumbled defensively against Elsa's shoulders.

"So you don't have to hide that much," she reassured her. "That you're attracted to me."

"But… doesn't talking about it make you uncomfortable?"

"Not with you. In general, it does, because most people will try to use it as leverage. Tell me that I 'look too good to be a virgin', or that it's just a matter of time. That's why them saying I'm attractive bothers me; there's an expectation for me to do something with my attractiveness. But you?" A light kiss on a freckled nose. "You just have the desires and can keep them separate from who I am. Still respect me as my own person."

"Of course," Anna whispered with a pronounced frown, pulling back to meet Elsa's eyes. "And I'd kick anybody's ass who doesn't see you that way, that treated you like a, a… warm body there for their personal playground! That's messed up!"

"I know you would. That's why I love you so much."

Anna felt the bottom drop out of her stomach. For a long moment, they were silent, just searching opposing irises for deeper meaning, for clues. Then Anna breathed, "Oh."

"Sorry," Elsa replied in an equally-hushed voice, drawing her hands away. "I d-didn't mean to blurt that out."

"You… love me? Really?" Gulping, she flopped onto her back. "I don't even understand what that means, it's… wow. Is this love?"

"What, being best friends who kiss sometimes? Yeah, that's most of it, but there's more."

"Yeah, but the 'more' part is what makes no sense to me. It just seems like this completely insane concept from a sci-fi movie, and the more I think about it, even though I can remember examples of what people who are in love do, they just seem like shit friends do for other friends, or else stuff that nobody would really do for anybody. I don't…"

When Anna couldn't seem to get any more words out, Elsa kissed her on the forehead before nestling herself against Anna's chest. "It's okay, dude. You're not gonna force me to sleep with you, so why should I expect you to… to see our relationship the same way I do? That'd make me a huge hypocrite."

"I do love you, Elsa," Anna swore to her, voice like steel. "I just… don't know if I'm going to be able to show it like you want me to. But if I'm even capable of having those feelings, it's you I have them for, okay?" But then she saw the tears swelling in Elsa's eyes and tore her own away. "I'm sorry, I- this is probably coming out wrong, probably making you feel worse. I'm so stupid!"

"No, it's- no, Anna, you're fine!" When she noticed Anna was really and truly shaking, she began to pet along one arm consolingly and shushing her, voice a gentle breeze. "Everything is going to be alright. I'm right here, I don't… you're not making me mad or disappointing me. We both care about each other, and that's the important part; nobody's judging you on how you go about showing me."

"But they will. They will when I start really, REALLY sucking at being your girlfriend, because I can't do that part. I'm just… a fucking idiot."

"If anybody says you suck as a girlfriend, I'll kick them in the teeth." When Anna let out a weak laugh, she raised an eyebrow. "What? You don't think I could?"

"I don't think you're physically able, no. But… thanks." Then she smiled awkardly. "Um… I know it's kinda late, but I did get something for you. I mean, for us."

This caught Elsa off guard. She had been about to kiss Anna's cheek and suggest they just get back to gaming, to distract both of them from the more intense conversation. "You do? I mean, um… like what?"

Instead of answering directly, Anna merely pushed off from the floor and wiped at her face, then held up a finger before racing out the door. They were in Elsa's room, so she supposed it would mean a trip all the way down the hall to Anna's. About two minutes later, the redhead sprinted back in with a plain brown bag under one arm.

"Here," she said as she thrusted it toward Elsa.

"Uh… okay, it's a bag," she laughed. But when Anna only made impatient gestures, she relented and opened it to withdraw… "Oh."

"It's a Tinkerbell nightshirt!"

"Great," Elsa half-laughed, shaking it out. She wasn't a big fan of pink, but it seemed soft enough. "We'll probably still have to wear it with pyjama pants, though. Up here, anyway."

"I just remembered you saying something about liking Tinkerbell once, so… yeah," Anna admitted, voice dropping down on the last word.

That wasn't entirely true. Elsa had said she admired the design stage of the Disney Tinkerbell, and how their aim was to emulate the pinup stars of the era when the movie was made. On the whole, she wasn't all that invested in Tinkerbell as a character. However, the mere fact that Anna had remembered that comment and tried to use it for a romantic gesture was quite remarkable, really.

"Thank you," she told Anna with a soft smile, holding it to her chest. "That's really… wait, what's this?" Reaching in, she retrieved a second shirt. "Oh, um, you got me two!"

"Not exactly - that one's for me."

"You… did you get us MATCHING nightshirts?"

With an excited nod, Anna took the second one and immediately pulled it over her head. It was likely to get a bit stuffy for her, but she was only wearing a tank top before so it likely wouldn't be so terrible. "Well, I was just asking my cousin what kinds of things were romantic, and everything seemed kind of weird and I didn't know how you'd like most of them, but when she mentioned 'matching clothing' that stuck with me. Then I saw these at the mall, and thought this… well, that it might…"

"It did," Elsa told her with genuine gratitude, eyes watering again.

"Ah, crap," Anna sighed. "You're crying. I really messed this up, didn't I?"

"NO! No, not at all, I-" There were no words that would do the job. Instead, Elsa pulled her own nightshirt on, rumpling her typically-perfect hair in the process.

"You look hilarious," Anna giggled, clearly relieved. "And aren't you wearing a sweater underneath that thing?"

"I don't care," Elsa told her firmly. "My girlfriend got me this nightshirt, and I'm never, ever taking it off!"

"Wow, bro, you don't have to go overboard. That might get a little stinky eventually." But when Elsa began to pepper her with kisses, she laughed and fell backwards onto the bed. "Hey, stop, stop! Oh God!"

"Never." And she didn't stop - not for another three minutes, until Anna began to tickle her mercilessly.

_~To Be Continued~_


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Somewhat NSFW.

The situation continued to deteriorate, albeit very slowly. Anna Zielinski never did sleep with anyone else. Knowing Elsa had given her explicit permission to pursue that option somehow had the opposite effect. That didn't erase her urges, of course; they only seemed to grow more and more powerful, harder to resist. But she kept them in check and was able to avoid the unpleasantness of Elsa noticing as she had during their Smash Bros-athon.

That is, until one Tuesday morning in early February. They had been studying until very late that night and fallen asleep in Anna's bed, snuggling and talking about trivial things. When the morning came, Anna's first thought was a somewhat unpleasant one.

'Oh shit… I need to get off, but I can't get Elsa off. Of me.'

The form of her girlfriend, or whatever they were calling their status with each other now, was sprawled casually over her own body. Warm and soft, and inviting. And she smelled fantastic. Not like a burst of flowers or anything so trite as that - just like another human did after a night of sleep. Lightly salty, with hints of the shampoo from the day previous. Real. And all of this combined with what she looked like and who she was to her turned her on.

'This… isn't a big deal,' she mentally chided herself, biting her lip. 'Just think about something else. Or wake her up, you could wake her up!' But that wasn't really something she wanted, not when Elsa looked so at peace. That felt like a crime. So she suffered in silence.

The operative word being "suffer". It was pure torture; normally she could suppress her desires for quite some time, relegate them to the back of her mind. Forget about them. Not this time. She had done that the night before while they were lying there together with little difficulty. Now, however, she had already been doing it so long that maintaining the barrier between her desires and her friendship-plus-kissing with Elsa was growing increasingly unbearable.

'She's not here just for you to think about banging her,' she commanded herself as her hips began to shift back and forth restlessly again. 'You are friends. That doesn't mean sex, it just means friends. Stop making it into a thing!' Biting her lip, she forced herself to stare at Elsa's face instead of down along her ample curves. That didn't help; she was still fiercely attracted to her regardless of what part of her she was looking at. Her unparallelled beauty only seemed to throw fuel on the bonfire of her need.

Before she knew it, tears were pricking the corners of her eyes. Normally, she didn't have trouble with these concepts; with anyone else, she simply enjoyed thinking about them sexually because it didn't matter one way or the other. With Elsa, however, she had done her best to police her thoughts when she was in the room, knowing that whenever she lapsed, it made her best friend uncomfortable. Other times were open for anything - as the Polaroids had proven.

'Stop,' she told herself more firmly as her body tensed up. 'Stop perving on her, it's not okay when she's here. You wouldn't do it if she was awake, so don't do it now!' Nothing helped. She was going to have to wake Elsa up and slip away to the bathroom.

But then warm lips were pressing against her cheek. Too late: Elsa already was awake. A husky voice whispered, "Hey."

"Morning," Anna whispered back. "You sleep okay? I meant to wake you up last night so you could go back to your room, but it was already-"

A light chuckle interrupted her words. "I'm fine. You okay, though? You seem tense."

"Well… I kinda have to go to the can. Sorry."

"Mm." But Elsa didn't move off of her, didn't roll away. Instead, she moved her lips to Anna's, kneaded up against them. Anna kissed her back with too much relish; privately, she was storing this feeling away for once she was alone. To reflect upon while she was slaking her thirst. They were as soft and delicious as ever, as was Elsa's body.

Which she felt shifting up on top of hers. Felt an arm sliding up and down her side, legs trapping her own legs. Was she dreaming? It was possible; this wouldn't be the first time Elsa had turned especially amorous in one of her nighttime fantasies. But it felt too real, tangible. For a few seconds, she merely traced her freckled fingers through messy blond locks, pressed them into a flannel-covered back. Drank it in. Maybe Elsa was just indulging her, or maybe it was that she was too sleepy to feel uncomfortable with how heavy their make-out session was growing. Fine with her either way.

Until she felt a hand on her thigh. Elsa's hand was on her thigh. That had never happened before - not this way, not while they were kissing. Not sliding up and down along it, not trailing over the front and toward the inside.

"Elsa!" she gasped silently when she felt the hand wandering dangerously close to somewhere she had never expected it to be. "Wh-what-"

"Shhhhh," Elsa hissed directly into her ear. "Just let it go."

Anna gulped as fingers pressed against her through her pants. As they shifted up and down, sending so much joy into her bones that she literally couldn't see for a few seconds. But then she came back to herself and shot her hand down to clasp around a thin wrist, pulling it a single inch backward until nothing was touching her anymore.

"No."

"Isn't that my line, usually?" Elsa snorted.

"Elsa… I d-don't want you to do this. I don't need it, okay?"

"Why? I'm volunteering. You didn't ask, didn't make any demands. It's entirely my decision."

"But you're not getting anything out of it! And I… I don't want you to touch my disgusting body unless you really want to!"

That made Elsa draw back in shock. She was already shaking and full of anxiety, as she could tell now with her face visible. Anna expected that; she knew this wasn't her thing and that it couldn't go well if she tried to force herself. But she was also surprised, staring down as if Anna had announced she was going to take up professional poker playing in Russia.

"You… wait, hold on a second. You think I see your body as 'disgusting'?"

"Obviously! I mean, you don't want to-"

"SHUT UP!" There was slight anger in her voice now, hand-in-hand with the surprise and anxiety. "Don't you ever talk about my Anna that way, there's not a single thing that's disgusting about her!"

Blinking up, stunned, Anna finally managed to collect a few words and string them together. "I- but y-you… and you're asexual, so touching me must b-"

"That's not it at all, it's not about finding you unattractive! I just…" Sighing, she bit her lip for a moment as she trembled. Anna automatically raised one hand to cup her shoulder, and Elsa placed her own over it. Instinct. "Didn't I explain this well enough before? I don't feel a connection between sexual urges and people. So even though you're beautiful and perfect, and I love being with you and even touching your body, I don't want to have sex with it. That's all. It's not about whether or not I like you, or find your aesthetic visually pleasing, or am 'disgusted'. Which I never was, okay?!"

"But… okay, I have to admit something to you." Would this really be wise? It might come off making her seem even stupider. "I did some research, or tried to. Looked up asexuality. And I read that a lot of asexuals are 'sex-repulsed'. So I kind of figured… I m-mean, this is my bad for assuming and not trying to confirm it with you, I guess, but wouldn't bringing up you being sex-repulsed just make you more uncomfortable? So… I thought if I just avoided the topic as much as I could, it would make you less annoyed that I'm not asexual, too, and…"

Elsa's anger melted away as she stared down at Anna. "Okay, I guess that makes sense. You were wrong in some areas, but you didn't  _do_ anything wrong. That's  _my_ bad for not explaining my sexuality very accurately."

"And mine for jumping to conclusions." Then she tilted her head slightly. "You… were really going to do it, weren't you? Get me off even though it weirds you out."

"I was." Then she squirmed slightly. "And it does weird me out, but… not as much as it used to. Isn't that crazy? I still don't want to do anything beyond hugging and kissing, not for my pleasure, but thinking about you doing stuff, or doing stuff for you? It doesn't send me into a panic anymore. So I thought… maybe we could try…"

Anna was already shaking her head. "Don't. I mean, if you really are determined to do that, I'd love to participate and all, but I'd be pretty miserable about it later if you admit that you were even the  _tiniest bit_ uncomfortable. You don't have to be crying huge tears for me to feel that way. I want you as a one hundred per cent willing bed-partner, or it's totally off the table. Do you get me?"

"Yeah," Elsa said with a watery smile. "And thank you." Now they were both almost-crying, so Anna did her best to dry it up, swiping at her own cheeks. "That doesn't mean I'm giving up on helping you out once in a while. I even came pretty close just now! But you're right, I don't think I'm ready to touch you like that quite yet. Can you forgive me?"

 _"Forgive_  you?" Anna burst out. "I mean, you forgive me all the time for being a horny idiot, so why would I even  _think_ about holding it against you for wanting to help me? I'm not  _that_ much of an idiot!"

Chuckling, Elsa leaned in to kiss her nose. "Nobody's saying you're an idiot but you."

Then they were engaged in another deep kiss, rolling around in the sheets, hair and arms and legs tangling. It confounded Anna that Elsa eagerly wanted this and didn't want to go further, but she had finally come to accept them as two distinctly separate activities. This was just extreme cuddling; sex was another matter.

"Now I  _really_ gotta run to the bathroom!" Anna laughed self-consciously about four minutes later.

"Why? Just do it." When Anna squirmed, she raised a finger and pressed it against her lips. "No, I really mean what I'm saying. I want you to. And I trust you to keep your hands to… yourself."

Unexpectedly, Anna found herself blushing in a way she hadn't done in a long time. Why? She had done a lot worse with several other people - in public places, even. She found herself gulping and averting her eyes, head swimming.

"What? What is it?"

"I…" Then she realised what it was. "I've never… done that in front of someone."

"Sure you have. You've had sex and all that, right?"

"SO not the same thing. This is just me, with myself, but you'd be here watching, and- what about those sounds I make? I know you've heard them before once in a while, and they freaked you out, so I don't w-want to push-"

"They didn't freak me out," Elsa sighed, stroking her fingers through Anna's bird's nest of a hair. "Made me feel odd, yes, but I didn't jump out any windows."

"But you don't know what it's like to feel turned on, so making you  _listen_ to me would be like… I don't know. Messed up."

A few seconds passed with Anna breathing heavily before Elsa cleared her throat. "That's not technically true."

"What?"

"I do get turned on, Anna. Most people do. With me, it's actually fairly uncommon, but it does happen now and then. That's not what asexuality is."

"But… that's how you explained it to me. That you never wanted sex, ever."

"I don't. Being turned on doesn't mean I want to do anything about it." Now Elsa did look uncomfortable, even though she hadn't a moment earlier when actually offering to let Anna take care of her urges in front of her. "I resisted telling you about this at first because I didn't want to confuse the whole situation, and it was easier to leave it at 'no sex' so you would know I really meant it. Yes, I do experience sexual desire, but it's never connected to anyone or anything. It just comes along and then passes. I did try to do something about it once but that was not a fun experience and I decided it's not for me."

"But how do you know? Maybe you were just doing it wrong."

"Maybe I was. But I'm confident that I have no need or even vague desire to try again. Not 'pretty confident' - entirely." After saying such words with a deadly serious tone, she allowed herself a tiny smile. "But if that ever changes, believe me, you will  _absolutely_ be the first one to know."

It seemed Anna had been given a lot to think about. Unfortunately, she was having a hard time thinking while her body was craving action. Always helpful, Elsa picked up Anna's wrist and moved it until her hand was draped over her own hip. Dangerously close to ground zero.

"B-but what will y-"

"Just kiss me."

_~To Be Continued~_


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: VERY NSFW. Also, I promise I'm working on chapter 10... it'll get to you eventually!

Hungrily, Anna took Elsa's mouth with great force, her other hand moving up and ensnaring the hair behind her, holding their lips in their union. Elsa gratefully returned the advances, weighing heavily down on Anna's body. After another few seconds, she reached back again and pushed the wrist further down.

Even until that moment, Anna hadn't been planning to seize Elsa's offer. It just seemed odd to do that with someone else in the room if they weren't participating! But there was no use in pretending she wasn't chomping at the bit to take care of it. Therefore, with that last encouragement, she slid her fingers underneath her waistband.

The first moan into Elsa's mouth made her freeze in place for an instant, but when Anna tried to pull her hand out Elsa latched onto her forearm to prevent that from happening. No backing down, it seemed. So she continued, coaxing more sounds and upward thrusts of her hips. Elsa never made a move to insinuate that she was feeling arousal or wanted to do anything to or for herself, but she also didn't roll off and run away, made no frightened sounds or movements.

Finally, Anna's passion was too great for her lungs, and she was forced to break the kiss, panting heatedly as her fingers did their level best to make short work of her climax. The sooner it was over, the better for both of them. For a second or two, Elsa merely grazed her mouth along her girlfriend's jaw. Then she raised up to her ear and whispered, "Hey."

"Nnhhh!" was the only response.

"This might be a silly question, and I'm sorry if it is. But… do you want me to get those Polaroids?"

That prompted a breathy, strained laugh from Anna as her pelvis rolled to the left slightly. "N-not… right now, I… I don't need them w-with… with you here!"

Elsa blushed and smiled, covering her mouth with the hand that wasn't underneath the both of them. Then she stroked one of Anna's freckled shoulders and asked, "Do you want me to, um, undress? Give you something live and in person to look at?"

 _"WHAT?!"_  But Anna had yelped that too loud, too sharply. "Sorry! I'm j- what?! No! I mean, yes, but… why would you want to? Wouldn't it make it feel more like you're… you know!"

"It's within tolerable levels," Elsa said. Her hand fell to unbuttoning her shirt slowly. Anna's aquamarine eyes went wide, drinking in the sight as her hand first came to a stop, then began to move faster than before. The shirt was gone, and the gorgeous mounds that she had only seen in small three-inch squares appeared before her. Her head began to lean up, but then she flopped it back down hard against the pillow, eyes squeezed shut.

"What, what's wrong?"

"I… wanted to…" Even attempting to say what she wanted to do made her burn with shame, and she felt her fingers squeezing her own fragile flesh with near brutality; a brief self-punishment. "NNHhh! Elsa, I'm sorry!"

Elsa smiled knowingly, stroking Anna's face. "It's okay that you wanted to. But thank you for… resisting." She leaned in again to kiss her, which Anna did heatedly for a few seconds before she pulled back, needing to breathe again. "More?"

"No more, I… can't handle… more!"

"But I thought you liked 'the booty'." Elsa rolled over and pointed said booty at Anna, and began to slide her pants down gradually - but Anna shot out her other hand and stopped them. "What?"

"Seriously, we're good!" Anna told her with more conviction. "I'm already so turned on, I don't need it, but it's… more than- NNHHHH, shit! Elsa!"

Something like a mixture of pity and love entered Elsa's eyes as she turned around to look at her girlfriend, as she watched her sweating and writhing in ecstasy. When she leaned in for another kiss, Anna took as large of a risk as she was willing to take: she placed her hand in the center of Elsa's nude back. She felt the shiver, but it was brief and not borne of fear. Encouraged, she then lost herself in both Elsa's lips and her own hand's ministrations until she felt the end building.

 _"Elsa!"_  she groaned heavily. "It's- I'm g-gonna- you have to g-go now if y-you don't want to hear-"

"I'm fine," Elsa urged her serenely, but her voice was lower, huskier. "And I want to hear you call my name like that. Keep going."

So she did. Unable to even consider holding back, the dam burst and she finished, back bowing upward and toes curling amongst the sheets. Elsa went nowhere, didn't blink, didn't flinch. She just kissed her and kept herself nearby until she had ridden out the strongest aftershocks. Then, smiling sweetly and gazing upon her with nothing but affection, she took her bottom lip between hers for a moment.

"God," Anna sighed as she went entirely limp, sprawled like a starfish. "You… that… I…"

"Breathe, sweetheart," Elsa tittered.

"I don't know if you'll feel proud or happy or annoyed or what, but that was THE BEST orgasm of my whole life! Even the ones where I had a guy in me, all of them, that… I've never come that hard before!"

"Interesting."

 _"Interesting?!"_  Then Anna laughed at herself. "Right, asexual; you wouldn't get off on me getting off anyway. Sorry about that."

Still bemused, Elsa kissed her cheek lightly. "Don't think I'm not pleased that I could help you. It's just not a sexual pleasure. The best way I can describe it is… like knowing you got somebody exactly what they wanted for their birthday. Makes me so happy I could."

"Then I'm glad." Patting Elsa's bare back, she added, "And hey, if you think about it tomorrow and decide… this was too much, let me know, okay? I can't even  _begin_ to tell you how much I loved doing it, but only because you were on board and it was your idea, not mine."

"Don't worry, I will." Then she cocked an eyebrow. "Though I'm a little surprised you declined to see my - if I do say so myself - well-proportioned posterior."

For some reason, bringing that up made Anna blush. "Well… that's for a couple of reasons. First of all, I didn't really think you were ready to show me that, even if you said you were. It just seemed too much, too soon."

"Maybe not. I'll just say 'thank you' for that consideration instead of trying to convince you I was ready to go the extra mile." Again, their lips met each other, tasting and enjoying. "What's the second reason?"

"You… are gonna laugh."

"I won't laugh! What is it?"

"Well…" Taking a deep breath, she averted her eyes. "One of the, um… I guess you'd call it a 'mental trick' or something. But to help me remember that you don't want sex even though you love me and like kissing me, I have this picture in my head of, um… you…"

"Me what?"

Anna's voice dropped by several decibels. "You having no vagina."

A long pause followed, in which they could only hear the sound of the rare bird that braved this weather chirping outside Anna's window. Then the tiniest little sound issued from Elsa - a snort.

"YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T LAUGH!"

"I'm not!" Elsa managed go grind out, obviously holding back a riot of giggles. "Th-that's a v-very prudent course of action! Wh-what do you picture down there instead?"

"You know, Barbie underwear! That under your underwear you just have more underwear that's permanently part of you!" Elsa's control was slipping, and she snapped,  _"Hey,_  come on!"

"But that's so-" Again she bit her lip, but when Anna merely glared, she finally sighed mirthfully and admitted, "Okay, I laughed and I apologise. But can you blame me? I've never, ever heard of that before!"

"That's what I was afraid of! And now you're probably gonna think about that all the time and laugh at me, and that's just great!"

"Yes," Elsa chuckled, pressing her lips against Anna's temple. "But it's not because I think you're silly, just… creative, perhaps."

"Yeah, right."

Sighing again, Elsa curled her body around Anna's tightly. The absence of her shirt made the redhead shift slightly, as if trying to maintain her poor mood in spite of the intriguing new feeling of Elsa's partial nudity against her arm. "I am sorry, but I'm also proud of you. Even if it's a very unusual mnemonic device-"

 _"That's_  what I meant, mnemonic!"

"Yes. But it being unusual doesn't mean it's bad, or that I think less of you. In fact, I respect you so much more for even bothering to put one together to help you." Then she kissed her neck gently. "And clearly it's working, since not once have I ever felt pressured by you, or uncomfortable. Well, not since I told you I'm on the ace spectrum, I mean; before that, you didn't know."

"Yeah… about that. I'm sorry, I should have been able to tell the difference. It's just hard because-"

"I know, because for you, sex is part of love."

Nodding, Anna wrapped her arms more tightly around Elsa. "It is. But this is, too. I may not get a lot of that other junk, but I understand holding somebody, being next to them and sharing that moment."

"Yeah. You do." Nestling in, Elsa sighed happily. "And that's the middleground. We meet in the cuddle zone."

"Best zone."

"Are you sure? Even with the, uh… slightly-assisted-masturbation zone you just discovered?"

Grinning like a fool, Anna nodded slightly. "That one's awesome, but this one wins. No contest."

Both of them were late to their classes that day. Only Elsa cared, and only a tiny bit. It seemed a worthwhile tradeoff.

_~To Be Continued~_


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: There, finally back on the horse! Sorry I got away from writing so much - I had been working on other projects, not just slacking off. Not that I have anything to show for it, haha! But there was a lot of delay due to NaNo. Hoping to make up for that right now!
> 
> In response to the guest who reviewed: asexual people don't need to just "suck it up". Nobody should ever suck it up and do something that they neither want NOR need to do; that's the whole point of this fic, to be honest.

"It happened."

The words made Elsa set her coffee mug down on the table in front of her very slowly. Anna's words could mean a dozen different things, and clearly she was trying not to react strongly one way or another. "What happened?"

"It. You know." Shrugging one shoulder, she eased into her seat at the far end of the couch upstairs in the coffee house. Their spot. "That thing you said I should go do with people."

"You had sex."

"Yeah. That thing."

"Alright."

They both sat in silence for about a minute, drinking their respective beverages and staring out the window at the gently-falling snow. It wasn't an altogether uncomfortable moment despite the topic at hand. Just one they shared.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Aren't you going to yell at me? Or hit me, or tell me you're disappointed or something?"

Elsa looked over at her out of the corner of her eye. "Why would I? You said it yourself, I told you to go forth and bang many bodies. It'd be kind of stupid for me to get upset about it now."

"I just… don't understand this. Any of this." Pinching the bridge of her nose, Anna set her mug down this time. "The whole thing about relationships is supposed to be that you don't cheat, right? Then what the hell did I do last night?"

"You pursued your interests, which I said you could. If you had done it without telling me, or after I asked you not to, then yeah, it would be a pretty big slap in the face. But that's not how it went."

"Are you going to honestly sit there and tell me that… that this didn't hurt you? At all, even a tiny bit?"

Her shrug was nominal, but her shoulders were clearly tighter than usual. "I won't lie to you. But I'm not hurt by what you did. I'm… hurt by what I can't do."

"Then it's my turn to give you hell," Anna told her, turning to face her properly. "Because I told you that I don't need it from you."

"Yes, I remember."

"Then why beat yourself up about it?"

"Why beat yourself up about doing what comes naturally to you?" When Anna didn't seem to have an answer for that, and merely sat there with her legs tucked under herself, blinking and trying to come up with a response, she took another sip before asking, "Who was it?"

"Wow," Anna muttered, "pry much?"

"Just curious. Honestly, you're under no obligation to answer if you don't feel like telling me. None of my business."

"I was kind of not serious…" Her eyes slid away from Elsa. "Just some guy I got with before we met. We ran into each other… I dunno, I think he's kind of like me. We're only after some fun, not to get attached. It's not even really a friendship or anything, just… we both dig each other's parts, I guess. Something like that."

"Were you… safe?"

It was a very loaded question, and Anna's face set as if she were very angry. But then she closed her eyes for a moment before she leaned in and bumped their foreheads together.

"I would never do anything that might even  _possibly_ put you in danger."

"But I don't care about m-"

"NEVER."

Nodding, Elsa leaned forward and left a small kiss on the tip of Anna's nose. "Thank you. For being safe, for your sake, not mine."

"Yeah." Then she kissed Elsa's cheek again, before pulling back. "And I am sorry that this happened, for any part of you that might be low-key hurt and not owning up to it. It's… I was really conflicted."

"Thought you might be." Her smile was bitter as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Obviously, there's kind of a hidden guilt trip that goes with 'you can have sex with whoever you want and I'll still love you', even if it's a side effect for me and not anything I actually wanted to put on you. So like… I'm sorry about that."

A smirk flashed across Anna's face, and she poked her girlfriend-or-whatever in the shoulder. "You knew about the guilt trip, and didn't stop it. Is that like a mini-revenge?"

"No! Damn it, I did try to tell y-"

"Kidding, kidding!" They both laughed, but the laughter died pretty quickly. "So… would you be alright with me and Kristoff doing this more often, or nah?"

"Kristoff?"

"Yeah. That's his name."

"The Kristoff who works downstairs?"

At that, Anna's cheeks turned a bit more pink. "Oh, I, um… I wasn't thinking about that, you already maybe knowing who he is. Does that make it worse?"

"Honestly?" She took a moment to mull it over. "I don't know. Maybe? Maybe not. Maybe I have no idea what I'm saying anymore."

"Sorry…"

"You have a thing for blondes?" When Anna looked up sharply, she held her hands up in front of her chest. "Kidding! We're kidding around today, right? I'm sure it's a coincidence."

Laughing quietly, the other girl turned to face the window fully and picked up her drink, blowing across the top and sipping at it. They both stayed like that for nearly two full minutes before the silence was broken again.

"You can tell me to stop."

"I won't."

"But you can. Like, even if you're telling me 'it's fine' today and in two weeks you're like 'it's not fine anymore', you have that power. I'm giving it to you."

"Duly noted. Thank you." But again, they lapsed into silence. Elsa twitched in her seat and then said, "So, um… do you want to come up to my room later? We could finish Sense8."

"Yeah, that sounds awesome!" Anna replied too eagerly. "I mean, if you're free."

"Of course I am - I asked you, silly!"

Again, she laughed self-consciously, staring down at her knees. It seemed no matter what she did, no matter how hard Elsa tried to reassure her, she couldn't shake the feeling that she had really messed up. Only time would tell just how okay she really was with their new arrangement. For the time being, however, she was simply satisfied to be with her, to share their usual gentle gibes and stories. That was worth its weight.

_~ To Be Continued ~_


	11. Chapter 11

Two weeks passed. Two weeks of unbelievable sex with Kristoff, and unbelievable "everything else" with Elsa. Anna was in seventh heaven, more happy than she'd ever been in her life.

Not that she was oblivious. The few times she and Elsa discussed what was going on with her and "coffee boy", as he was sometimes referred to, Elsa would seem despondent, or even downright upset. So eventually they were able to find a way to avoid any discussion of the topic. Periodically, Anna would ask again if Elsa was still okay with their arrangement, to the point where she finally got angry - about the question coming up.

"Didn't I say that if I had a real problem with it, I'd let you know? Stop asking already!"

"Yeah, but..." Sighing, Anna pinched the bridge of her nose as they walked across campus, trying to avoid the patches of snow that had fallen from the banks on either side of the walkways. "Can you blame me? If we-"

"YES!" Elsa's cheeks were bright red, but it could has easily have been the chill in the air as from anger. "What part of 'asexuality' don't you understand? It's been a while now, and you should at  _least_ be grasping that this is not a topic I enjoy discussing! Besides the fact that I'm a lesbian and have no interest in men, so picturing you having sex with the boy-toy is even  _worse_ than only you in a sexual manner!"

That diatribe cowed Anna into immediate silence. She didn't speak to Elsa for the rest of the day, other than to text her and let her know she was going to take a nap.

But things got better again. Neither of them wanted to stay mad at each other, and they both loved their time together - even if the romantic gestures Elsa would occasionally make sometimes confused her, or made her feel inadequate. However, they both had become better at accepting Anna's lack of ability to return them. She would try, and Elsa would become overcome with emotion at the mere effort, and it was enough.

Until one weekend in April.

"So, um..."

Elsa put down her controller and looked over at where Anna sat on the bed, a Cheeto halfway to her mouth. Dread filled her stomach, because the last time Anna had begun a conversation with this much evident nervousness, it hadn't led anywhere good. "Yes?"

"I need to talk to somebody about something. And normally, I'd kind of want to talk to you, but you're involved. Plus, the subject is kind of annoying. What do I do?"

"Well... I can try my best to just be your friend right now, instead of girlfriend. Not guaranteeing that will work, but I can try."

Nodding, Anna mulled things over for a few seconds. Then she blurted, as if unable to hold it back anymore, "Whatever was going on with Kristoff is over."

"Oh." The long eyelashes fluttered in surprise a few times. "I'm... sorry, on your behalf. Not that I really understood what you were doing, but I know that was something you liked."

"Yeah."

"What happened? Did he find somebody else, or just..." Then she laughed quietly. "Wow, I really don't understand this stuff, I can't even think of other scenarios."

"Not exactly." When Elsa didn't speak again, merely waited for her friend to find her words, she picked at a frayed spot on her flannel pyjama bottoms and finally whispered, "He wanted me to break up with you."

"He  _what?!"_

"And start dating him."

The one-two punch left Elsa completely stunned. Although she understood the second part quite well, loving Anna the way she did, she was unable to process the first.

"Don't worry," Anna finally whispered. "I didn't accept. But you probably figured that, since I'm here with you and not with him. I guess."

"That... presumptuous  _asshole!_  You're the one in the relationship with me, not him! Why does he think-"

"Yeah, he was wrong," Anna cut her off. "But... please don't make a big deal about that, and don't confront him, okay? I already gave him hell for thinking he gets to decide what I do with other people. I'm not interested in him beyond banging anyway, and now I can't even do that without worrying that he wants to 'get serious' or whatever. He ruined the whole thing."

For a minute, Elsa had to fight back the instinct to rejoice over the development. Part of her also wanted to comfort Anna about her "loss", even though it was a loss she couldn't quite fathom, but that also didn't seem quite what Anna wanted from this exchange.

"Did... I mean, what did you want to talk to a 'friend' about?"

"It's hard, I don't know how to put it into words." Letting her pantleg go, she finally flopped backward and set her own controller aside. "Like, why couldn't we just keep banging? That was the entire point, that we  _didn't_ have to worry about strings. I thought he was like me, that sex was just sex, and we didn't have to complicate shit. And there he goes, wanting me to be his 'steady gal', just like everyone else I've ever been with."

"Present company excluded?"

Anna chuckled quietly. "You didn't even get a taste of this sweet bod before you wanted to change our Facebook relationship statuses."

"Your body is sweet to me," Elsa reassured her, placing a tentative hand on her shoulder. "Just... not the same way. I mean, I love it because it's the packaging that brings me Anna."

At that, Anna blushed. It was partly that she was uncomfortable with the romantically-slanted comment, but also partly that she appreciated being told she had value beyond just her physical attractiveness. "Mkay."

"Mkay?"

"Well, I understand what you mean. Confuses me, but I appreciate it." Then she looked up into Elsa's eyes. "And... maybe I really will be all yours from now on, unless I can find another Kristoff who is  _actually_ interested in doing this no-strings. But I'm not going to take out a craigslist ad or whatever, that's just nasty."

The prospect of going through everything again was a terrible one, but Elsa took deep breaths and made herself let that go for the time being. Anna was going to be Anna forever; she had to get used to certain things that meant. Like sharing her physical form. So far as she could tell, their hearts would always belong together.

But it didn't make her any happier about the situation. That much was clear from how ruthlessly she destroyed Anna in the next few minutes, even though their conversation remained light and carefree. It was a small, silent outlet.

_~ To Be Continued ~_


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Hey, don't worry guys; I didn't forget about this fic and it will be finished before 2015 ends. The story's just about over but there will be a few loose ends to tie up afterward, so stay tuned! 83
> 
> This is when it DEFINITELY stops being safe for work, guys. Be forewarned.

_[Can you please bring me some water and kleenex and a warm washcloth?]_

An odd text to receive at three in the morning, and Anna found herself rereading it several times to make sure she understood the request. Was Elsa doing spring cleaning? In the middle of the night? It didn't make any sense. However, she managed to shake herself, pull on some gym shorts and a tee and make her way down the hall.

Elsa's room was pitch black inside once she made it there, other than the vague glow from the pillow where a phone screen was undoubtedly showing her some kind of news feed or other. When she flipped the light switch up, there was an immediate response.

"No, no lights."

"Sorry," Anna hissed as she turned them back off. However, there hadn't been anything out of the ordinary; Elsa in bed, a neat floor, a stack of books on her desk. The usual. Picking her way over in the near-darkness, she sat on the edge of the bed. "I, um, got the stuff, but I'm not sure-"

"Thank you. Leave them on the bed."

"Sure." But something about Elsa's voice told her she should ignore the heavy hint to leave - that Elsa was afraid to ask her to stay. Even as she was worried about what was happening, a tiny voice inside her was crowing with pride that she had picked up on that instead of missing it entirely, as she normally would. "What's up?"

"Nothing." Definitely a great deal of emotion in that voice, and a noise that could either have been sheets rustling, or a tiny sniffle. "Just tired."

"Oh. Okay, then, I guess..."

Neither of them moved. Eventually, Elsa rolled over to face Anna and took a facial tissue from the box, blowing her nose.

"Are you sick?"

"Not sick. Just... not feeling great, either."

"Period?"

"Doesn't usually affect me very strongly." A brief pause. "Can you maybe spoon me for a while?"

Anna smiled, then picked the water bottle and washcloth back up. "Sure, of course." Draping the arm holding them over Elsa's body, she nestled in behind her form, still laying on top of the sheet but nuzzling into the side of her bare neck. In a quiet voice, she told her, "I got you."

"You do."

Minutes passed in silence. Occasionally, there would be a sniffle, or Elsa would pull the water bottle from Anna's grip and chug some of it. Then they would go back to lying very nearly still. Most days, their breathing rhythm would match up eventually, but not this time; Elsa's remained shallow and laboured, while Anna was serene. There was something wrong, and she wasn't going to find out what it might be by sitting around like a sack of potatoes.

"Is... is it me?" Anna finally whispered.

"What? Oh, no, not really. Sorry."

"Because if it is, you can say so. Don't spare my feelings just because I can be a dumbass."

"It's not you. I was trying- well... let's just say, I've been thinking a lot. And that never leads anywhere good."

"Okay, that usually applies to me, though." It earned her a chuckle, and Anna decided to be grateful for that rather than press for an encore. "What were you thinking about?"

"You. And sex. The whole... how you like it, and want it from others since you're not getting it from me. All of that."

"Didn't I just ask-"

"It's not you!" Elsa burst out. "I mean, you're normal - I'm the weird one, right? So it's only fair that I be the one to figure myself out."

Kissing her neck, Anna told her as earnestly as she knew how, "No, it's not. You already know who and what you are, I'm... not going to force you to put yourself in some box that doesn't fit you!"

"But I don't want to be in my own special box, all alone! If I can... force myself into a different box that people can understand, that  _you_  can understand, then won't that be better? More work, but better!"

The tears in her voice - and probably in her face, though it was impossible to tell now that she had turned her phone over - really tugged on every one of Anna's heartstrings. Did her sexuality really cause her this much pain? Another kiss joined the first one, a more firm kiss, and she hugged her from behind as best she could.

"You work pretty great to me. And so what if we can't have sex? I like you for you, and want you around. That's not a sex thing, it just is how it is. And I promise you it won't change."

"But I tried," Elsa was sobbing into the pillow. "I tried so hard! I didn't think it would... but when I started, maybe... and n-now I just h-hate myself! GOD!"

Another few minutes slipped by, and all Anna could do was soothe Elsa as best she could, stroking her hair and the only arm available for stroking. She whispered sweet nothings that she barely understood the meanings of, even though they were coming out of her own mouth. All she wanted was for Elsa to feel better, to stop making things so much harder. To feel happiness again, the way she normally did.

Wet kisses were exchanged, ones that contained little to no pleasure. Ones of desperation. They weren't frequent, and by the second half of their silent vigil they no longer occurred.

When Elsa had been silent for about a minute, merely shivering and breathing slowly and methodically, she finally asked, "Did you, um... maybe try doing something... you shouldn't have?"

Elsa nodded.

"Did you try to do it because of me? Because you wanted to help?"

Another nod, though she hesitated before doing it. Not wanting to reveal the truth, not wanting to put any of the burden on Anna.

"It's okay," she whispered again, still cradling her close. "You... yeah, I wish you hadn't. Since you already know it's not your thing. I'm sorry..."

These exchanges brought about a fresh wave of tears they both had to ride out. At the end of it, they both seemed to feel a lot more comfortable with the quiet dark. Another kiss, and more whispered words of comfort. Eventually, Anna felt the washcloth leave her hand.

"That's, um... gonna be pretty cold by now."

"Yeah," Elsa breathed shakily as her arm disappeared below the sheets. "WHOO! Damn, it is, it really is!"

Anna's chuckle was bemused but nervous. This was probably the one and only time she would be present while Elsa was doing something that even resembled touching herself, and she didn't know how to feel. She wasn't excited by it, not really, because it wasn't something that gave Elsa pleasure. But her body reacted slightly. Her heart sped up, and a tingling assaulted her stomach, her loins, the tips of her toes. Putting it out of her mind wasn't easy, but she did. For Elsa's sake.

"There, I... feel better." Then she brought the cloth back out and clutched Anna's arms with her hands, the cloth a chilled presence on one wrist. "Thanks."

"Anytime. I'm on speed dial for more than just Mario Kart."

After a few more seconds, Elsa turned to look at her. "You were breathing funny while I was taking care of it. Does it...?" Anna merely nodded, saving both of them from having to wait for her to figure out a way to phrase her question. "Hmm, interesting."

"Not really. Just a thing."

"Yeah, it's..." Then she reached over her own shoulder, draping the cloth over it. "If you want it..."

"What? No, no way! I'm n-not going to take advantage of this, that would be pretty shitty!"

"Why not? It's... making the best of a bad situation. Something I can't ordinarily give you. If I recall correctly, oral sex is one of your preferred activities?" When Anna still didn't reply, she simply pressed it in closer. "Go on."

The scent upon it wasn't powerful, it wasn't anything out of a crazy daydream - but it was mildly enticing. Anna had smelled similar, and enjoyed it then, as well. But Elsa's was a cut above; it was everything she normally loved about the blonde's natural scent with the added tinge of arousal. Perhaps Elsa hadn't enjoyed her activities, but her body had reacted to them the usual way.

Anna took the cloth and inhaled deeply, feeling her body's reaction double in strength. Her eyes closed and she lost track of herself for a moment, taking in this rare opportunity and revelling in it, happier than she ought to have been.

"Good stuff?" Elsa whispered, half-teasing.

"I feel like a perv."

"Hey, I gave it to you, knowing what you would do with it. So I think that makes it okay." Then she rolled over and kissed her forehead. "If you want to take it back to your room right away, then by all means."

"No, I don't want that," Anna told her honestly. "I want  _you_  - here, now. I want to be with my friend and help her feel less crappy."

The smirk on Elsa's face was more felt than seen. "You want me here and now, alright. Which... is a challenge, but I think we can work around it. You... you are s-so..."

Again, she was crying. "God, I'm sorry, Elsa! I didn't-"

"No, it's nothing bad, it's j-just... you're so much better than my ex, than the other people I've been on dates with, b-because you care, you really... not just  _pretend_ to care, but you do! Even if you're not sure how a relationship works, you're still better at it than people who supposedly understand, and that's... that's just how incredible you are, Anna!"

"Dude... come on, you don't have to say all that. I'm always going to- H-HEY, what are you doing?!"

"What I have to," Elsa breathed as her hand wormed its way down past her friend's waistband, searching for a specific goal. "For you."

"Stop, this totally isn't what I-  _NNHhhhh..."_

Just so easily, Anna was lost. Fingers were deep within previously-forbidden territory, clumsily sating her carnal hunger. Her technique left a lot to be desired - which might partly explain her displeasure at her own attempts to masturbate, Anna thought privately. But that wasn't something she needed to tell Elsa anymore. If and when Elsa ever wanted to explore herself again, that was fine. If it never happened, that was also fine. For now...

"Here," Anna whispered shakily, reaching down with her free hand to glide her fingers of ther tops of Elsa's - which drew a nervous breath from the other girl. "Just... more like... there."

"Like this?"

"OW, no - watch your nails!"

"Sorry!"

"You're fine, you're f- WHOA, okay now you're  _really_ fine! NNhhhaaaah!"

"Yeah?" Elsa pressed her face against Anna's neck as she attempted to find a rhythm. "This is helping you? I mean, I can stop if it isn't, I just thought-"

"Don't you dare! Not for- I mean, if y-you don't want to keep going, that's another- OOH, oh yeah, right there,  _riiiiiiight_ there, SHIT!"

The squelching sounds and the writhing of Anna's limbs seemed to make her uncomfortable, but she merely pressed on, her hand slowly becoming more sure of itself as Anna thrust up against the actions. Eventually, she leaned up and left a message in Anna's ear.

"The washcloth. Don't forget about it."

Perhaps she had meant only to bring it up and enjoy the scent again. She probably hadn't meant for Anna to press it directly to her mouth, to literally consume the leftover essence. Elsa's hand stopped as she watched that happen, and after a second or two, Anna opened an eye to try and gauge her reaction in the near-blackness.

"No, I just... wasn't expecting that." Her fingers sped up again, and Anna fell back to drinking in both the ministrations upon her heated sex and the wetness on the clean white cloth. Temporary crisis averted.

The golden moment was over much sooner than either of them expected; Anna's moans grew to an impossible height and her body tensed all over, writhing and bucking and lost to the throes of ecstasy. It wasn't until Anna patted Elsa's wrist that she stopped her actions.

"Sorry," she breathed self-consciously. "I didn't know; like, I've read that some women can have multiple orgasms, so if-"

"You're fine," Anna told her preemptively, kissing her temple. "I... I'm great!"

Clearing her throat, Elsa raised her hand up to stare at the fingers that she had just misused. It glistened, and she shivered slightly. "What... did I just do?"

"Nothing, you... you didn't do anything." Kissing the cloth one final time, she moved it down to wipe herself off of her friend's hand. "See? All you did was make my body happy, and neither of us got hurt. You're... exactly who you were a few minutes ago."

"Yeah. Yeah, that wasn't so bad at all - not like it was when I did it on myself." She flinched at the recent memory, even as she chuckled. "I mean, I still think you're a little nuts for actually liking that, but hey, if I can make you so clearly overjoyed with a few minutes of carpal tunnel..."

"You sure?" Swallowing thickly, Anna tossed the rag somewhere into the rest of the room. They could clean up later. "I mean... you seemed weirded out a little, but you also weren't like you were when I... first came in."

"Yeah. Helping you is strange, but it's not  _bad_ -strange. Just unusual. I think I'll be fine doing this once in a while."

 _"Really?!"_  When Elsa drew back slightly, Anna ducked her head. "I mean... thank you. Thank you so much, you totally don't have to, but if you do I'm gonna enjoy it! Like,  _so_  much!"

"It's even kind of funny," she giggled. "The way you flop around and shout. Cute."

That caused Anna to pull back, and she eventually reached to flip on the bedside lamp so she could more properly gape offendedly at her friend. "CUTE?! Hey, most of my partners have said I'm really hot in bed!"

"You probably are! From where I'm sitting though, it was more like you were having a seizure. Don't forget, you have to know your audience."

A few seconds later, Anna poked Elsa in the stomach. Then they were poking each other, and more legitimately tickling until they were gasping for breath. Both of them were extremely grateful the water bottle was still around.

_~ To Be Concluded ~_


	13. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Asexuality/Aromantic Statement: Sorry, but I had to say something on this, because I think it's important and highly relevant. Relationships aren't always straightforward. You don't try One Thing to please your partner, and then if that's not enough, even if they're not asking more of you but simply yearning for more on their own, you break up. What a disposable culture we've become where we throw people away so easily. You go the extra mile for someone you love, and then if you think you need to go another, you go another. There's a world of difference between perceiving them to be taking advantage of your desire to please them, and simply noting a need they have. Elsa's doing whatever she can for Anna - even sometimes far beyond what Anna asks for, and in the case of the last chapter, literally ignores her warning to stop. Anna hates the idea of Elsa pushing herself past her own comfort zone merely for her sake. Yes, it turned out for the best, and yes, Anna enjoyed every minute of it. That doesn't mean she took advantage or that she's "holding all the power". Elsa pushing past her own limits for Anna's sake was important for both of them, and most notably, it wasn't something Anna asked for or even subconsciously expected. In her mind, she had already written off getting sexual pleasure from Elsa as something that wasn't going to happen and was sticking around for her best friend in the world. That was enough for her. It was Elsa who refused to let things stand there.
> 
> As far as Elsa feeling "compelled" to allow Anna to seek other sexual partners, yes, she did. In herself. Not from Anna's end; Anna was more than reasonable and told Elsa it wasn't necessary many times. Being aro, the open arrangement sounds totally fine to her, but she knows from how most people treat romantic relationships that it's unusual, so she has to - absolutely has to - rely on cues from Elsa. And Elsa, of course wanting to please her girlfriend, tells her it's fine, so she trusts her word. I'm not saying it's the wisest idea for either of them, I'm just saying that claiming Anna's having an easier time is unfair to Anna. They are both entirely baffled by how the other person perceives relationships and are doing their best to learn, as one reviewer put it, how to "speak each other's language".
> 
> \--------------
> 
> ANYWAY! With that said (hopefully didn't piss too many people off, it's just my honest perception of how aro/ace persons could and can be in relationships with either allosexual or alloromantic persons... and yes I do have some personal experience in this area), I hope you enjoy this last little bit. They worked through a lot of their problems by this point and I could have left it there, but I thought it might be fun to follow up!
> 
> Thank you so much for all the kind and often insightful reviews, even the ones who sought to critique the (perceived) power imbalance in this relationship. It's better to question and engage in discussion that will hopefully lead to a more broader understanding than to quietly sit in judgment, after all.
> 
> Until we meet again,  
> Jessex

"God, I love this!" Anna crowed into the air as she hung from the rigging. "Faster, faster!"

"You got it!" Rapunzel laughed as she turned up the power to the motor. Even though the sail was out and the wind was carrying them, it wasn't enough for Anna - she loved to live life on the edge, to push things to the limit. It was her way.

"Must we go faster?" Elsa asked, trying to make herself heard above the noise. She had spent most of the boat trip seated, a bottle of green tea between her knees. Even her blue swimsuit was more conservative, complete with a light and airy turquoise sarong around her waist, and a white shawl over her shoulders. "We're already doing at least five knots!"

The redhead looked down from her perch, messy braids swaying on the breeze as she shielded her eyes. "Come on, you're already dressed like an old lady! Do you have to act like one, too?!"

"Hey! I already told you I didn't appreciate all those comments about my footwear! They  _are_ actually called 'boat shoes', aren't they? Where else could they be more appropriate?!"

"Why do you even  _have_ shoes on out here?" Rapunzel laughed as she ratcheted their speed back down. "We're on the ocean, it's gonna get wet at some point!"

"Oh, you never have any shoes on anyway," Anna shot over at her with a snort. "And I'm sorry - my Elsa looks fantastic no matter what she's wearing."

Mollified for the time being, Elsa crossed her legs in the other direction. "Still would rather just let the wind do the work than push things to top speed..."

Anna watched her for a moment. The sunglasses made it hard for her to read her expression, but she decided to err on the side of caution and signalled for her cousin to cut the power to the engines entirely. As the dull roar subsided, giving way to only the whoosh of winds and splash of surf, she hopped down from the rigging and padded over to Elsa's seat.

"What?" Elsa asked. "Don't stop on my account."

"I really am sorry," she sighed, sitting next to her. "The speed makes you nervous, huh?"

"Not a lot, but enough that it's not as fun for me as it is for you two. When you said 'sailboat'..."

"Right, you were expecting something relaxing." Looping her arm behind Elsa's back, she leaned in to kiss her - and came away with a coating of sunscreen. "Bleh."

"WOW, so now kissing me is 'bleh'! I can't help it if I have sensitive skin!" When Anna only raised one eyebrow, she finally cracked a smile. "Okay, okay, I'm being a pill. Sorry, just... can we stop for now and eat? I'm starving, but I didn't want to start in on our cooler without you guys."

"Definitely, I could eat too. Punzie?"

"I can always eat," she added as she picked her way to the sail. "Help me take this down?"

Within five minutes, the sail was down and they were bobbing on the waters, unpacking various food items from a red cooler that had been packed thoughtfully by Anna's parents. They had been thrilled that Anna made a new "friend" at college that she wanted to have come visit, and readily opened their home to Elsa. Her father had expressed so much relief that she wasn't bringing a boy home and he wouldn't have to interrupt any "funny business" that the blonde eventually had to excuse herself to the restroom so she wouldn't laugh directly into his face.

Meanwhile, Elsa's parents were far less obtuse; Elsa had made no bones about telling them Anna was her current romantic partner, and after a brief, level-headed discussion, they gave their blessing for her to fly down to Georgia for a couple of weeks out of the summer. The money didn't matter to them nearly so much as their daughter's happiness - especially since they wouldn't even have to pay for hotel fees.

"Ugh, potato salad," Elsa grunted as she passed the plastic container to Rapunzel. "I don't understand how anyone can eat that mustardy concoction."

"What's wrong with potato salad?" she pouted. "It's our grandma's special recipe."

"It sucks," Anna agreed. "I mean, it's fine as far as potato salads go... but who wants that anyway when you can just have potatoes that  _don't_ taste like ass?"

"Thank you," Elsa laughed, grateful for the support of her tastes. "However, I will definitely be having some of those grapes."

As they passed their food around and finally had what they all wanted, Anna looked across at her girlfriend. Things hadn't been perfect over the past few months, but they had been close enough that she put the results in the "win" column. Not only had they established a semi-dependable routine for Elsa to "service" her, but also some easy signals to each other for when Anna was in the mood, and - even more importantly - when Elsa did not feel up to helping. There had been a few more conversations about whether or not Anna should just go back to taking care of herself, but at the end of them all they agreed their current arrangement was mutually beneficial.

On Elsa's half, she got the benefit of a very,  _very_ satisfied Anna. Whom, as it turned out, was all giggles and smiles, and devoid of antsiness. From her point of view, it was well worth the mild discomfort she experienced from getting her off. Even that was getting easier, now that she knew what she was doing. Though Anna had jokingly remarked that she was a bit too "clinical" in the way she did things, at least she no longer looked ill before she began. For Elsa, getting Anna off was just like massaging her shoulders, or volunteering to wash the dishes; an activity that wasn't overly burdensome, and it brought her partner pleasure. There was no true downside once she got used to it.

Other than their bedroom arrangements, life had marched on as usual. Finals were brutal, both of them studying long into the night. The neighbours across the hall held a party so raucous one night that the police were involved. One evening in May was almost entirely spent on searching through snow banks for Elsa's phone, which was eventually found to be in the pocket of one of her other jackets. The normally level-headed blonde had been so embarrassed about it that it took nearly an hour of Anna peppering her with tiny kisses and telling her stories of her own idiotic shenanigans for her to stop moping.

And now, here they were, eating together with Anna's bubbly cousin on the rolling Atlantic. It was plain to see that they'd been thick as thieves throughout their childhood, they conversed so easily, and Elsa smiled gently as she watched them, picking her way through a cup of Greek yoghurt.

"...and  _then_ we couldn't get the grass stains out!" Rapunzel was chortling, slapping the deck of their boat. Clearly, the wine coolers that she had smuggled onto the boat with them were beginning to work their dubious magic. "You've never seen my mom that pissed, oh my GOD - she was ready to smack our heads together!"

"My mom, too," Anna giggled, freckles aglow. "I mean, I have, but not at  _both_ of us!"

Patting her chest above the neckline of her bikini, she eventually recovered enough to say, "But they never did find our Pokemon cards, did they? Or did you dig those up later?"

"Nah, nah. Probably a bunch of decomposed mush by now." As she drained the rest of her bottle, she looked over at Elsa. "You sure you don't want one?"

"I'm not old enough to have one. And neither are you." When Anna's mouth opened, she raised a hand to head her off. "It's no big deal, just a personal choice; you can do what you want. It's not like you're snorting crack off my thigh."

That comment made Rapunzel choke on her own sip, and then all three of them were laughing so hard that they forgot everything else they were talking about. At the end of it, when Anna wrapped her arms around Elsa and kissed her soundly, they heard the throat-clearing from the cousin's direction grow more pronounced.

"Sorry," Anna murmured as she drew back, one eye turned to look at her bashfully.

"No, no, it's... that's what you do, right? Don't mind me."

Arms still around each other, Elsa drew back just enough to turn aside entirely to look at Rapunzel. "Does the PDA really bother you? I mean, we can stop."

"Nah." She squirmed, fiddling with the bottle between her fingers for a moment. "Okay, yeah it does, but it's my problem - I'm just not used to... you know. Not-straight people. Please don't think I'm freaking or that I don't approve - it's just new, that's all."

"Punzie," Anna sighed in disgust, but Elsa was already shaking her head at her.

"No, no, she's fine. Everybody has to have their horizons broadened at some juncture or other." A rueful smile tugged at her lips. "Not usually by watching a family member, though. I am sorry about that."

The long-haired honey blonde shook her head vigorously. "No! Dude, no way, I'm- Anna looks so happy, you have no idea! And clearly you're super sexy, and hella smart, and you're just an incredible woman, so... so if my cousin is gay, then why shouldn't she be gay with you?"

All of that caused Elsa to dip her head in slight chagrin. "Wow, you... wow, thank you. I don't know what to say."

"I do," Anna said in a mock-suspicious tone. "You hitting on my girl, Punzie?"

 _"What?!_  NO WAY! God, I wouldn't- I never- That's  _not_ how I-" When she heard the two of them laughing, she pouted. "Hey, come on - no fair, I don't know how to deal with lesbians yet!"

"You better learn! My Elsa's going to be around for a while." Then she turned her eyes to the side. "Right, Elsa?"

The pale girl's little bow mouth was smirking, the wind tossing the odd strand of white-gold that had escaped her ornate bun. Then her delicate finger raised up, hesitated, and poked its way into Anna's nostril.

"Pretty presumptuous, Zielinski. But... yeah, we'll go with that."

So they sat and laughed, and eventually got up and let Elsa have a turn trying to steer the sails. Anna's hands never left her waist for more than a few seconds, even when the sun went down and the chilly winds made them turn back for shore. Maybe it was bitterly cold in Alaska, as all her friends and family had forewarned her. That was true. They simply hadn't counted on there being something up there that would counteract the cold. Some _one_  very different, who was also very special. Opposites really do attract.

_~ THE END ~_


End file.
